Tony Horton and P90x

“I love him, but I hate him.”

P90x has never, ever, ever, ever heard of me. Never. Not once. Get the picture? However, if they knew the amount of free marketing I was giving them by telling all my friends about it, they might think twice about ‘ol Rebekah. They may even throw me a yoga mat or a ‘recovery drink’.
I love these workouts, and I’ll tell you why.

The workouts are well,…they’re just really hard.
And I love to workout. Always have. Makes me feel less guilty when I buy a box of Mike & Ike’s and eat them all in a single sitting as I watch ‘The Biggest Loser’.

And I would rather be doing this over P90x most mornings. But I force myself to wake up (actually Cowboy won’t let me sleep in once the alarm has gone off). I put in another grueling P90X DVD and listen to Tony telling me to do things I don’t want to do.

But I need to give you a bit of a disclaimer: Tony says some weird stuff sometimes. Things like this:
“That’s the gruntin’!”
“Nice muscles, dude.”
“The Makes snakin’ contact, elbow, thigh!” (no idea what he was trying to say here.)
“Oh, no! Tops are coming off!”
“Yummy, yummy, yummy!”
And the cronies in the videos with him add to the weirdness.

His favorite cronie, Dreya Webber, is that kid in class you want to punch. She actually gives Tony advice on how to make a move better. But Tony doesn’t mind and just flirts with her relentlessly, although I am pretty sure she’s a dude.
The flirting is kind’ve weird.
Yet, somehow you end up liking Dreya, too. But, that doesn’t stop the urge to still punch her.

Once you get into it, you really start to look forward to the next time Tony screams: “I know it burns! It’s supposed to burn!”

Ah. P90x. I love it, but I hate it.
My sick obsession.