Of Family: Fears and Failures

You may argue with me, but my family is the best. My parents have always been consistently faithful to each other, to us as role models and to their commitment to lead a Godly life.

However, we aren’t without our mistakes. And I’m not without my regrets as to how I’ve treated them, what I’ve said  or my crappy attitudes when they don’t do what I want them to do.

Each time we all get together, I tell myself that I’m going to be mature, I’m going to respond with grace and humility and I’ll give to them generously.

But I don’t. I act like a bratty 8 year old. I fail terribly. I get crabby. I demand my way. I get ticked off, retreat to my closet, eat chocolate and cry. And pet the cat(s). Thank God for cats. Seriously.

Then, I crawl back to the party I’ve offended and ask for forgiveness. It’s the same dooloop over and over again. I feel hopeless that I’ll ever really change. And you’d think I’d learn.

After all, I’m old enough to know better, I’m a mother in waiting, supposedly a “professional” and a wife of 12 years. But 8-year-old-Becky rears her ugly head time after time after time after time…

I’m so thankful for the Creator of the universe and for His forgiveness. Otherwise, I may end up seriously hopeless-never leaving my closet, nutritionally destitute from my steady chocolate diet and perhaps even rejected by my cats due to stinkyness.

But in Him I find hope that I can and I will change-with His help.

“If you, Lord, kept a record of sins, Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness, so that we can, with reverence, serve you. I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope.” Psalm 130:3-5

Like me, you may have difficulties with the people you love the most. My intention with my vulnerability is to encourage you out of the stinky, chocolate-laden closet while in pursuit of His cleansing forgiveness.

Don’t give up hope. In Him there is hope!

Pressing on to things that are ahead

Have you ever felt like the minister at your church was speaking straight to you and your circumstances? It happens to me all the time. (Maybe it’s because I’m so jacked up that any sermon covers some sort of “situation” in my life.) See self-deprecating picture below.

Spending daily time with God is important to me-I mean, look at what a mess I am. But it’s on Sunday’s that I experience community, I participate in worship with hundreds of other voices and I hear the sermon while I’m taking notes. All of my senses are heightened to what God is telling me.

Here are a few verses that stuck out to me this week at church. If you have everything together, you may as well just go browse my other posts. But for those of you who are trying to figure things out, are discouraged or are confused-read on. The best wisdom you will ever find is here in his Word.

(These wild Mustangs were shot by me at The Pioneer Woman’s Ranch)
“Forget the former things; do no dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. The wild animals honor me, the jackals and the owls, because I provide water in the desert and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43: 18-20

(I think I ran a little too far this day-but, I survived.)
“Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.” 1 Peter 4:12-13

(One of our rental homes blew up. We were ok with that.)
“God’s divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.” 2 Peter 1:3

(This was the last day of tour and I was both excited and anxious about how our life would be changing.)
“Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you.” 1 Chronicles 28:20

Directions to Life

This statement has been floating around a lot lately-“I just feel (insert one of the adjectives given) and I don’t know what to do.”
–overwhelmed,
-restless,
-confused,
-tired,
-lonely
The bummer thing is, I don’t have the answers-sorry. And as I get older, I realize how dumb I am and how much more I have to learn about God. But, I’m so grateful that He gave us an instruction manual that outlines exactly what to do with any situation we face.

I have to be honest, there have been times in my life where scripture was meaningless. The Bible was just a lot of letters on a very thin page that my stupid man hands tore accidentally.

Until I needed his word, I didn’t see a need for it. So, maybe today you are searching. Maybe you aren’t. Maybe, just maybe, you’ll meet someone that needs to hear God’s truth about them. In any case, it’s better to be prepared.

Are you feeling abandoned or forgotten by God? Do you feel he is distant or not listening to you?

Listen to what His truth says about you!
Deuteronomy 4:31-33
For the LORD your God is a merciful God; he will not abandon or destroy you or forget the covenant with your ancestors, which he confirmed to them by oath.
Ask now about the former days, long before your time, from the day God created human beings on the earth; ask from one end of the heavens to the other. Has anything so great as this ever happened, or has anything like it ever been heard of?

Do you think your life has no direction, or are you unclear which way to go?

First, quiet your spirit (literally-sit quietly) in order that you may hear what he needs to say to you. Secondly, ask God for wisdom. Solomon asked for wisdom-when he could have asked for anything else. Because he asked for it, God gave him wisdom that caused foreign kings to marvel.

II Chronicles 1:11 & 12
God said to Solomon, “Since this is your heart’s desire and you have not asked for wealth, possessions or honor, nor for the death of your enemies, and since you have not asked for a long life but for wisdom and knowledge to govern my people over whom I have made you king, therefore wisdom and knowledge will be given you.

Do you have unanswered prayers-things that make absolutely no sense at all? Are you mad at God? Do you feel like he let you down?
These verses encouraged me when I was at the lowest point in my life-and continue to do so today.

Psalm 18:16
He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters.

Isaiah 41:13
For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.

Has someone deeply wounded you, abused you or traumatized you to the point where you aren’t sure you can forgive? And is this person even a professing Christian? I’ve been there.
I know that’s been one of the hardest thing for me to do-to forgive a “brother” in Christ.

Genesis 50:17
This is what you are to say to Joseph: ‘I ask you to forgive your brothers the sins and the wrongs they committed in treating you so badly.’ Now please forgive the sins of the servants of the God of your father.” When their message came to him, Joseph wept.

Luke 6:37
Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

At any time when I feel depressed, lonely, or needful in any way-I’ve learned that all my answers lie within the pages of my well-worn Bible; which is falling apart and has a few slightly torn pages bound between the emerald green leather cover. Before too long, every last line of that thing will be highlighted, underlined and starred. As it should be.

Amen.

If you need someone to talk to, to pray with, or just to have on the other end of a computer-I’m here. And I love to make new friends.