Busted. Arrested for my sins.

Dear Sheriff-
My calendar is full-full of really good things-but full, nonetheless. Between Bible Study, Crossfit, t.v. appearances, guest posting, meeting with the tax accountants, my mother coming into town (YEAH!), painting windowsills, being trained as a real estate agent….my days are full and a tad overwhelming at times.

I flop into bed each night–sore from Crossfit, tired from the day and my brain swirling about tomorrow. The alarm sounds the next morning at 5:00am and life begins again.

And this morning, YOU–”Sheriff God”–busted me.

You reminded me of this: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”-Philippians 4:6

Had I even prayed about my day-the tiny details that seem silly to bring to You but seem insurmountable to me?

Nope. Busted.

Had I asked You for help while I made out my list, fretted over it and then complained about it to Biceps?

Nope. Busted.

Did I immediately flip open Your Word to read in James 1:3 & 5, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.”

Nope. Busted again.

Thank You, God for busting me.

However, You were gentle and kind to me and released me from the prison I had made. Commentaries by me.

“I waited patiently (sort of) for the Lord, he turned to me and heard my cry (flat out guttural scream). He lifted me out of the slimy pit (favorite part), out of the mud and mire, he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.” Psalm 40:1-3.

Well played Sheriff God. Well played.

We aren’t fancy enough. Hail, go away.

We aren’t fancy enough to own a garage. Midtown is full of older homes with either converted garages, or houses that just simply never had a garage. Ours is the former.

When we first bought our home, the “garage” looked like this.

Yep. Toilet, shower, awesome paneling and fake brick linoleum flooring. (Mind you, we had already removed the wooden swedish sauna.)

So, although our house is a nice size-with four bedrooms and three bathrooms-we have no garage.

Meaning, no protection from snow, falling debris, rain…

…or hail.

This morning, about 5 am, I heard the faint sound of ice pinging off the back porch’s metal awning.

During the torrential downpour, the hail continued to bounce off of our unprotected and garage-free sweet ride.

This made me think about how unimportant my possessions were and how quickly they can be destroyed.

(Thankfully, Biceps and I don’t put much stock in fancy possessions-we want to be debt free rather than own an impressive vehicle.)

But, our slightly dinged, slightly used, 15 passenger van is still a possession that I worked hard for and paid for with real, green cash.

And, I was reminded of this scripture: “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Luke 12:34 (NIV)

It made me think if I was storing up treasures here on earth or focusing on the treasures in heaven? After all, I can’t take my possessions with me.

The only thing that I will leave this earth with is what I did while I was here. I hope what I do today for others creates a treasure for me in heaven.

Now, that’s something fancy to possess.

Were you the Popular Kid or the Nerd?

Dear Readers:
Boy, have I missed you. However, I can’t help myself. I must talk with you.

My computer is terribly slow-due to its Ram issue, seizing up every few seconds. Writing a post takes me more than an hour. But, I love you all and hate letting another day go by without saying “hello”.

I was reading the greatest book (ever written) with Biceps this morning and we came upon this scripture:

“Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.” (NIV, Romans 12:16)

This verse got me to thinking about high school.

(Photo Source-Movie, 1984 “Revenge of the Nerds”)
There of course were the definite “nerds” in high school. The ones that stayed in the science lab all day. They kind’ve stayed to themselves, played the tuba in the band, were the gaffers during plays and took three languages-just for fun.

Now, they run the world-but that’s beside the point.

And, there were the super popular girls who were on the cheer squad, dated the cutest boys and always voted to be the homecoming queens.

I was somewhere in between-I began my ninth grade year at the tender age of 13. I was this weirdo combination of somewhat smart and somewhat naive and totally, obnoxiously Christian.

My world view was quite small-coming from being kicked out of a Christian school in the sixth grade (long story) to then being home schooled for my seventh grade year. Public school started for me in the eigth grade and I wasn’t quite ready for jocks, druggies, band geeks and skateboarders.

I mean, they smoked cigarettes. Weren’t they all going to hell?

On top of my awesome judgmental attitude, overnight I went from being a skinny, flat girl to getting all my curves in one fail swoop. I was caught between wanting to still be a girl, but looking much more like a woman.

Large button up plaid shirts, loose jeans and Doc Martins became my wardrobe choice-I wasn’t comfortable with my new self.

I didn’t know who to align with, so I just decided to be everyone’s friend and hopefully-no one’s enemy.

But, by being everyone’s friend meant that I wasn’t really anyone’s friend. However, God in His infinite wisdom brought me the most wonderful friend and her name was Heidi.

Nope. Not this Heidi. A real live human being named Heidi.

Remember the scripture I was talking about earlier? “Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.” (NIV, Romans 12:16)

While I was worried about my hair, how to walk down the hall and if James was going to talk to me today-Heidi smiled her way through the day, loving on everyone, not worried about who she associated with. She was the epitome of being Christ-like.

Who knew that years later, I would find Heidi via the great world wide web and she would also be a blogger (A Soul Laid Bare)?

She was wise beyond her years then and she continues to shape who I am today at age 34. Heidi showed me that it didn’t matter if you were popular, a nerd, or somewhere in between-you had value simply because you were you. She has no idea that she is what got me through high school.

Thank you, Heidi. I owe you.

How to fight with your spouse (and win)

After almost 12 years of marriage, I’ve learned how to fight to win.

I am not a licensed counselor, nor do I have anything remotely to a psychology degree. In fact, I am the furthest from touchy-feely as you might get, if you are merely looking at my credentials.

I am of German descent, took on the beautiful German language as my minor and majored in International Business. I like repairing old vintage cars, chopping crap up and using my physical strength to demolish lath and plaster.

I was determined to own at least one Fortune 500 company or if nothing else, take over Richard Branson’s Virgin empire.

Snuggling was foreign to me until I married Mr. SnugglesExtremeMan, hugs had to be forced until they were normal and I don’t kiss anyone on the cheek.

All of that said, when we were first married, I had no idea how to properly fight with my husband-other than fighting to win. It was my nature to be right, to protect my rights and to win. I learned very quickly just what “winning” does to a marriage.

It divided us, it alienated us from one another and it caused barriers. When I “won”, or when he “won”, we both lost. I remember once being so angry that I threw a pair of wet jeans at him that I was hanging up to dry.

They plopped onto the bathroom floor about a foot in front of me. He just stood there, open-mouthed, unsure of what to say. I felt like a little girl who had just had a temper tantrum.

It was embarrassing.

Sometimes I could manipulate him with guilt, sometimes I would use a few tears to sway him my way, or maybe I would just bring up all the mistakes he’d made in the past. It seemed to temporarily win the argument-but we both knew what I was doing and the problem was never really solved.

One day, the thought popped into my head that perhaps my way of fighting was inappropriate. After all, Biceps never raised his voice to me. He never reacted to my insanity. He calmly and rationally explained his viewpoint and then waited for me to talk in circles for the next hour, riding the roller coaster of my emotions.

He is a very patient man.

So, I started thinking. Was “winning” the argument really worth it? Did it draw us closer together when I proved that I was right, or did we not talk to each other for the rest of the day?

Were we a “team”, the two of us becoming one like we had promised in our vows-or was it me against him?

After reading this scripture, “…Rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.” 2 Corinthians 13:11, I realized during our arguments, there was NO ROOM for God within the mess I had just made.

Ew. Gross. Ick. I stink.

Years later, I have come up with a system to ensure that both Biceps and I “win” when we argue. I (try to) run it through this filter before I approach a subject that is causing our relationship friction:

1. Is what I’m about to say helpful and healthy, or is it hurtful and harmful?
2. Am I reacting to something or have I committed it to prayer first?
3. Am I putting Bicep’s well-being before mine and am I honoring him by wanting this issue resolved or is it just so I can “be heard”?
4. Do I have a solution to the problem that I am bringing to him?

And if I can’t check off these four things confidently from my list, I don’t bring the subject up until I am able to do so.

If I can remember to do this and not attack during the heat of battle, we calmly and rationally discuss the issue at hand. It has single-handedly put a stop to the hour long (or more) fights, the ridiculous Rebekah rants and the non-solution endings to our arguments.

And it draws us closer to each other and closer to God. Pretty simple, but I’m pretty stupid sometimes and have to learn the hard way…

And that’s how we both “win” our arguments with each other.