Happy Mother’s Day!-What I’ve learned.

I have the world’s best parents and the world’s best parents-in-law. You may think you do, but I would challenge you to arm wrestle competition to own the title. And since you’re there at your computer and I’m here at mine-let’s just call it a draw, shall we?

Anywho-it’s obviously Mother’s Day and I want to praise the woman the raised me (Mom) and the one that raised the man that I’m deeply, passionately in love with (Connie-Mom).

I would like to share a few things that these ladies did well in regards to being a Mom. And, I hope to encourage all of you that may be-even right this moment-frazzled, worn out, frustrated and re-thinking that whole “mom” thing.

The biggest thing that I learned from my mom was:
1. Consistency is paramount in regards to both love and discipline. I knew that if I crossed the line, I would be punished for it-often by writing inches out of the dictionary or the Bible. I do give a tip of the cap to my mother for “allowing” me to have such an expansive vocabulary. I also knew that when my jacked-up, gymnastics-back was keeping me awake at night, mom would come into my room and rub my back until I fell asleep.

2. Choosing to make life fun is an intentional decision-it doesn’t just happen. And “fun” doesn’t have to be expensive-fun comes by catching lightening bugs, making pizzas, playing board games and taking bike rides. As a family, we never went on a cruise, visited exotic places or went on ski vacations. Those things aren’t bad to do-they just weren’t an option when I was growing up. Instead, my best memories consist of sitting around the fireplace, drinking Five Alive, eating popcorn and playing Sorry.

3. God comes before everything-even before me. My mother has had a consistent quiet time ever since I can remember. I knew not to interrupt her and I knew it was in my best interest if she spent time with God before conversing with humans.

4. Dad and Mom presented a unified front, one that us kids knew we couldn’t break apart.
Once a decision was made, I never thought to try to continue to get my way. Well, maybe “never” is a strong word. How about, “most of the time”. At any rate, I knew it was futile. Those parents of mine were resolute.

I love you so much, Mom. Thank you for being consistent, fun, Godly and resolute. I hope I can be half the woman you are, someday.

Do you know your father’s voice?

Dear Readers:

Do you have that one friend that you may not hear from for a year, but you know their voice instantly when you pick up the phone? It has a familiar timbre-that familiar pitch-and you are back in conversation as if no time has passed at all.

I feel that way each time a storm rolls in. Growing up in Kansas, thunderstorms came with a fury and intensity I have yet to see in Oklahoma. Within a moments notice, the blue sky would turn a sickly green and then a deep black. It would rip open as lightening splintered across the sky, and a piercing crack would echo throughout the plains.

Thunder would fester from within the earth, grumbling all the way to the surface until it finally would scream into the atmosphere, shaking the paintings on our walls.

As a child, the storms fascinated me, scared me, humbled me and intoxicated me.

The older I got, my love affair with storms grew. I found covering outside to watch as the storm brewed over the field in my backyard. I loved the stillness right before the storm. The birds became silent and found shelter. The hay stopped swaying and the earth grew quiet for a moment. Suddenly, a loud clap would wake everything up and rain would pour down on me.

I heard the voice of my Father calling to me through those storms, reminding me of who He is. And as the hot rain fell on my skin, I would feel the cleansing power of water-of baptism.

My Father speaks to me in many ways-but my favorite is through a storm. A storm is unpredictable, beautifully dangerous, radically different and fiercely chaotic. But in the end, the earth has been cleansed and a sweet peace falls as the storm moves on.

It reminds me of my God. He will shake me to the core, He will cleanse me and He will bring me peace. I know the Father’s voice so intimately that I not only hear it in every storm, but throughout every day as I keep in constant communication with Him.

Do you know your Father’s voice?

Slap the stupid out of me.

Dear Readers:
I’m mad. I mean, REALLY MAD. In fact-I’m going to use a phrase I never use. I’m spit-fire MAD. And here’s why:

We, as crazy, wordy humans, say a lot of things. Extreme things: never, always, I’ll just die.

Ambiguous things: I dunno, maybe, kinda, yep.

Things to each other that we don’t honor: I will love you forever, I could never be mad at you.

And we text and email and IM all these words back and forth to each other. And before you know it, we mix the most sacred of words with the most mundane of all conversations.

I love you.
I love those shoes.

Forever, I’m yours.
I haven’t seen you, in like, forever.

I will marry you.
This sandwich married together perfectly the spicy mustard with the pastrami. 

Which leads us into devaluing what we say and what we’ve commit to.

Be mine, for all time.
He used to be mine. 

Till death do us part.
I was going to kill him if we had to stay together.

He makes me so happy.
We weren’t happy anymore.  

I’m an observer. I enjoy watching as marriages, relationships and friendships begin.
The first time a conversation is sparked leaves each party feeling elated and renewed. Weeks later, there is still so much to learn about that person and neither one could imagine life without the other. Your old friends think that you’re ignoring them, and to be perfectly honest-you don’t care.
Months roll on by and that person is maybe less of a priority, but still high on the list. You quit planning your entire day around them and start to schedule them in.
Years roll by and you find yourself either without the relationship intact any longer, or it’s down on the totem pole of priority. After all, you’ve got to live your life.

Which leads me to asking, “What happened?” Why is the “spark” out? Why does that once intriguing friend now bore you? Why is the person you just couldn’t get enough of, now-get on your every last nerve?

We are a finicky race, us humans. We allow our minds, our thoughts, our eyes to wander when something prettier, newer, skinnier, less complicated comes along.
A decent car now looks like a jalopy when parked next to that brand new, never driven Mercedes.
A nice laptop suddenly pales in comparison to that fancy new one at the Apple Store.
When you visit your boss’ house, your house suddenly seems small, out of date and embarrassing.

And your husband becomes commonplace and unappealing as you read “50 Shades of Gray” (for the record, I have never read this book-but I’ve heard enough talk about it to know what is up, ladies).

The socks left by him at the foot of the bed-for days-start to get under your skin. I mean, can’t he put those in the basket?!
The little tiny hairs from him shaving and not properly rinsing out the sink grate on your nerves. I just cleaned that!
He chooses just the most inopportune time to become amorous. I just ate pasta. Really?!

And then, along comes this guy. And he’s perfect. And interesting. And funny.
And he smells great and opens the door for you and he knows just what questions to ask and when to ask them and he moves the hair off your face and tucks it behind your ear just right and he thinks you’re awesome and, and, and…
And his socks would never bother you and he never farts and you know he’s a clean freak, just like you, and, and, and…

So you entertain the thought of him. And you open up your facebook and you “friend” him. And you start to message him. And you keep it from your husband.

And suddenly, your “forever” is more like, “when it’s convenient and it still makes me happy.” Before long, your “forever” is over. And that is what is making me spit-fire MAD.

And you look back on it and wonder when it started to go all wrong. It went wrong way before dating and marriage and facebook. It went wrong the first time you compared what you had to what someone else had-and you were ungrateful.

I’ve done it. My scratched up, 280,00 mile van is embarrassing surrounded by brand new Lexus’, Mercedes and BMW’s in the parking lot of where I occasionally work. My clothes have holes in them. I dress vintage because it’s cute, but mainly due to lack of advertising funds. You better believe I’m comparing my TJ Maxx purse to that women’s $1,500 Prada bag. I’m finicky. I compare and judge and evaluate.

And, I’m ungrateful.

And that is what makes me MAD. So, when you see me do it-slap me. Slap the stupid right out of me. Remind me that I’m being ungrateful and its a slippery slope from cars to clothes to shoes to husbands.

I believe love is forever and it is most certainly worth fighting for. I believe the “till death do us part”. I believe in what I said at the altar, what God has said about marriage and I want to be grateful-every day-for that. So, dear readers: you have my permission to slap me and get all spit-fire MAD at me if I start to slip.

Hold me to it.

Why I read the Bible

Dear Readers:
Some say it’s a crutch for the unintelligent. Some say it’s an outdated book full of stories and fables. Some say you can’t trust it because humans wrote it.

I say it’s that only thing keeping my gross, ugly side at bay.

It’s the only thing that pulled me out of a terrible, depressive state when my fiance dumped me (rightly so). The whole world, I felt, was against me. I was asked not to come back to my college classrooms by my professors. I lost every single one of my “friends”, save two. I moved off campus to avoid the constant looks and whisperings. I shrank down to 98 pounds. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep.

But, then I read, “He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters.”
Psalm 18:16

I knew God could restore me, but would He? Did I deserve His love? After all, I was one messed up human, full of sin and nastiness.

But then, I read this, “If you return to the Almighty, you will be restored: If you remove wickedness far from your tent.” Job 22:23

I had to change-in a real way. I hated what I had become-a self-righteous, indignant person that could easily judge others, but with little moral compass for myself. I was so embarrassed when my charade was up.
I wanted to be back in God’s graces, but I didn’t think I deserved His love and his salvation. It seemed everyone else had it together but me.

Thank goodness for God’s Word. “For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23

All have sinned? That means Mother Teresa, Billy Graham…and me?

I realized that I was and still am a sinner in desperate need of a Savior. I confessed my sin to Him and He forgave me. He washed me clean. He gave me a fresh start. Daily, I have to still do this because I am still so imperfect that I screw up constantly.

Even though God had forgiven me, I still had to deal with the consequences from the mess I had made. I had to endure the awful phone calls from my ex-fiance and his family. After all, I felt like I deserved some more punishment. It couldn’t be that easy-could it? You can’t just ask for forgiveness and actually expect to be forgiven-can you?

Then, I read what the Bible had to say.
“Open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me.” Acts 26:18

I couldn’t believe that one day I might be standing in the throne of heaven, surrounded by great men of faith like Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Paul, Luke, John the Baptist…but I will. And reading the Word reveals to me that these “great men of faith” screwed up constantly. Abraham and Isaac lied several times about who their wives were, Paul was a murderer, Jacob had to wrestle with God. I seemed to fit right in.

If you don’t know God, or if you feel under condemnation for your past-start off by reading Romans. And then, email me. I’d love to talk with you about who you are in Christ. He takes the old and makes it new!