The Fireplace Incident

I was working away in my office (my office at home-what do you think-I leave the house? HA!) when I heard a distinct thump in the living room, cat claws skidding out on the hardwood floor, a rustling of some plastic substance and then–silence.

Curious, but not unaccustomed to such shenanigans, I made my way out to find the reason for the scuffle. Nothing in the house seemed to be destroyed, knocked over or out of place-this time.

That’s when my “cat-dar” went up. After much searching, I only located a very wigged out Max, hiding on the top ledge in the bathroom.

Look at the size of those pupils.

His tail was puffed out and upon further inspection, which I later regretted-was found to be sticky and wet.

Ew.

After several minutes of calling for Bianca, this little lady greeted me by the front door.

Ms. Perfect White Pants was covered in soot, head to toe.

Now, Ms. Bianca will vacate the house and hide in the dirty chimney in order to escape one of three things:

1. Kayle’s drumming
2. Small, Noisy Children
3. An unnamed source on this day in question

And the story began to unfold….

I decided to inspect the amount of soot she must have brought down with her from a romp in the chimney, and assess vacuuming vs sweeping.

If you’ll notice, in the upper left hand corner of the fireplace, there is something protruding from the chimney.

A Wal-mart bag was hanging out of, and partially stuck inside of the chimney. I had known one of my earlier grocery bags went mysteriously missing this morning.

I’m weird that way.

Secondly, the hearth was covered in wet, sticky residue-reminiscent of Max’s tail.

Upon removing the bag, one can easily see it had been ripped to shreds.

And Bianca returned to the scene, trying to cover up whatever it was she did with her little sooty paws.

Max would not join either of us for the rest of the day. He stayed perched on his ledge, with wigged out eyes if Bianca ever entered the room.

The Nancy Drew side of me wanted to know the full story. Someone knows something-but no one was talking-to me or to each other. I will just have to chalk this up to an unsolved case.

Wooden Christmas Garland

Decorating for Christmas is something I look forward to all year-storing things away that I collect throughout the changing seasons-until I feel that first nippy bite in the air.
One of my neighbor’s had their visiting father-who I have come to adore-knock on my door this past spring. It was no surprise that he came to me with a stack of cedar chunks from a felled tree.
And to quote the father (with a severe southern drawl), “When I saw these, I just knew if anyone could do something with them, it’d be you.”
Apparently, my reputation precedes me….

And I hope I haven’t let him down or failed his expectations of just what I could “do with them”. For next to nothing, I have a unique garland made from reclaimed cedar wood that Anthropologie is probably jealous of…or at least, I’d like to think so.
I’ll be sharing the tutorial on how to make the cute little blue, brown & red trees next week.

 

Here’s what you’ll need to make your very own Wooden Christmas Garland:
Chunks ‘o Wood (mine were about 9″ in diameter)
Rope (I used 1/2 twisted nylon rope-blue hawk is a pretty good brand from Lowe’s)
Palm Sander and 80+ grit Sandpaper
Your favorite color paint/spray paint
Hammer & nails (not pictured)
Stencils
Blue Tape

Let’s get started!

 

Lightly sand the wood, going with the grain if possible. I sanded mine just enough to not have burrs or splinters. I wanted my garland to be rustic.

 

Choose your saying. I went with “Peace”, but considered “Boink”, “Poop”, and “Elephant”. I really didn’t have enough wood to do the latter and was outvoted on the first two by my visiting mother-in-law.

Tape down the stencils with blue tape, adding scrap paper if needed to protect the rest of the wood.

 

Spray away! I went with two coats, just to be safe.

 

Remove the stencils. Stand back. Ooh and ahh until the neighbor gets curious. Then tell them to quit snooping, this is a top secret project.

 

I gave the wood a light coating with a Crystal Clear Enamel, but you don’t have to. You could also add a layer of polyurethane instead. Either acts as a protectant and gives the wood a little sheen.
The “P” has been sprayed with it in this picture, but not the “E”.

 

Spray paint your rope, if you so desire. I went with shiny, shiny gold. I like gold things-they’re kingly.

 

Once everything is dry, use your hammer and small nails to tack in the rope to the back of the wood. I used two nails per chunk of wood.

 

Hang your Wooden Christmas Garland where your little heart desires and enjoy.
Then call your neighbor to tell them you just finished your top secret project and you also have some warm cookies to share.
I bet they’ll be over in two shakes of a kitty’s tail.

Magical Mantel Decor

Truthfully, my ‘Magical Mantel Decor’ isn’t really magical.
It can’t grant you three wishes.
It cannot get rid of that zit before the big holiday party.
It can’t make you lose ten pounds.
But, it is pretty and shiny and oh, so very easy to do.

And that, to me, is a recipe for ‘Magic’. Plus, this decor is inexpensive. Therefore, Biceps thinks our Mantel Decor is magic to our budget.

All that you need for your own Magical Mantel Decor is:
Metallic Spray Paint and a drop cloth/plastic sheet
Desired Christmas Ornaments
Tinsel (not pictured)
Felled tree limbs-or go and cut them off of your living tree, while apologizing to it. That’s what I did.

Spray the tree limbs with the metallic spray paint. I recommend doing this out of doors, unless you like that fuzzy headed feeling. Let the limbs dry.

Place tinsel on the mantel before arranging the silvery tree limbs. Hang glittery Christmas bulbs from the limbs and intersperse them on the mantel itself.

And try not to drop any of them.

Stand back and take in the amazing thing you just created. Smile at your geniusness, laugh at your dusty pocketbook, scoff at stores selling ‘mantel decor’. You, my friend, have conquered your mantel.
Be proud-or humble. Whatever you think Baby Jesus would recommend.
(PS-I have had several peeps asking me about the MIRROR above my mantel. Here’s the link, if you would like to see a tutorial on how to make it for yourself!)