A Bug’s Death

Throughout our years of touring, we have witnessed many a death. We must claim responsibility for single-handedly removing these flourishing lives from this earth. This day we turn our hearts from seeing these deaths as merely a nuisance that must be scrubbed off at the next truck stop, to wondering-“Just who was that bug?”.
We have decided to honor the squished victims and ask, who were they, where were they trying to go and why did they choose to fly into our windshield?

This bug for example-he was very watery. Was this a water bug? And just what is a water bug? This well-hydrated victim probably shouldn’t have left the pond, but with what I suppose was a great thirst for life, decided to explore the world and got squished.

 

Major Mustard. This may not have been his name, but I believe this bug defected from Germany where he was was part of some militant army he did not approve of. He enjoyed wienerschnitzel loaded with lots of mustard and flying. He was a good bug.

 

And you-were you a wasp? Then I have no regrets, because I was recently stung by a wasp and it really hurt. If you weren’t a wasp, then I’m sorry. I guess, even if you were a wasp, you probably weren’t the wasp that stung me. Of course you could have stung someone else so I have avenged their wrongful stinging. I’m not sure how I feel about you.

 

A Haiku for you, winged bug.

Oh, little winged bug
How glisteny are your wings?
Sleep, sleep, death on glass

 

These two bugs came to us simultaneously, so I’m assuming they were a couple. Perhaps they were flying hand in hand, or maybe it was hand in hand in hand, since they are insects and have six legs. But I don’t really know how bug relationships work. Do they hold hands? And if so, just one hand, or all hands on one side?
There was so much about them that we didn’t know, but one thing I’m fairly certain of, they seemed to be in love. It’s quite romantic, actually.