When everything seems to be going wrong…

Yesterday was one of those days. You know what I mean-a bump your head, forget your lunch, drop a brick on your toe, and the car wont start-days.

Except for me it started off with two of my carefully planned Christmas presents that were left in the wrong hands, turned out to look like poop. Not cute baby poop, but that English Mastiff neighbor dog next door gigantic, smelly poop.

And I didn’t feel great, so I was hopped up on meds. Which of course makes me sleepy and dizzy. This normally clutzy girl doesn’t need any help to injure herself, however yesterday I ran into the door frame of our bedroom-several times, tripped up the stairs and shut my hand in a drawer.

The cats are freaking out without their outdoor time and without Rebekah time as I slept the morning away. I awoke to a shattered vase, broken Christmas ornaments and several feathers (source was unknown), strewn about the house.

Then, the window in our sweet ride decided to retreat into the door without warning. There was no amount of coaxing and pleading that brought it back to its upright position. And there didn’t seem to be a repair guy on earth who could fix it last night.

I had promised Biceps a dinner of meatloaf, roasted sweet potatoes and carrots before he left for the day. And by golly, he was going to get that meal. Don’t get the wrong idea, this was not a sweet thing by the time it came to preparing aforementioned meal.
Instead, I was going to make sure Biceps knew that:
A) I was sick and didn’t feel like cooking
B) this meal was a lot of work
C) and now I had to do the dishes and did I mention I was sick?

And of course, I took all this frustration out on Biceps-because I’m a mature Christian who lashes out instead of talking to God about my frustrations. Biceps has his midterm today and needed to study even more than usual. The poor guy who didn’t deserve my retribution, also didn’t have time for it. Which made matters worse.

After Biceps put up with me for awhile, I retreated to our room. AND that’s when I decided to talk to God. I’m such an idiot-why does it take me so long to get where I need to be?

I read these two scriptures and was reminded of how blessed I am and where my hope is:

“But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love.” Psalm 33:18

“Blessed are you who hunger now, for you will be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh.” Luke 6:21

I didn’t feel like laughing quite yet.

This is the one that got me, convicted me and caused a change of heart.

“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires;, to be made new in the attitude of you minds, and to put on the new self, to be created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” Ephesians 4:22-24

I returned to the land of the living to ask forgiveness from my loving Biceps. Thankfully, my husband is patient with this “work of art” that’s still being painted by the Creator.

All of those things that seemed to be so important and frustrating just moments before seemed a little less important and a lot less frustrating. It was a round-about and fairly embarrassing way to get to this point of total dependance on God.

“My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge.” Psalm 62:7

He sure has a way of reminding us just how much we need Him, doesn’t He? He is such a stinker sometimes.

Today, I rest.

Yesterday, during the lecture portion of my Bible Study, it began to happen. I got that horrible itchy feeling in the back of my throat that I tried to ignore.

If I let it have its way, it would turn into a full-fledged, coughing-up-a-lung, hack-fest. Since I was sitting on the fourth row of the sanctuary, I didn’t want to make a scene racing for the bathroom-and so, I held my ground. I suppressed the urge with a new piece of gum and a few tears.

Of course, being the idiot that I am-I kept going with my day. I had errands to run, Christmas cards to get out, dinner to make, lunch to pack, laundry to do and leaves to rake.

By the end of the night last night, I was hugging the throne and upchucking all that I had just ingested for dinner. But, it was just one small puke. I’m not sick, I said to myself.

This morning, I was not convinced to take the day off-just look at this list of to-do’s. And these are just the things I know I’ll forget if I don’t have them written down. They don’t include studying, doing the laundry, making Christmas present, vacuuming rugs, prepping dinner or any of my other daily chores.

But, on the way back from dropping Biceps off this morning, I nearly had to pull over to upchuck the piece of toast consumed for breakfast. Toast is not tasty the second go around and I wasn’t having it. Ick.

I made it home in time to puke in my personal toilet, called my Mommy (because who else truly cares when you’re sick but your Mommy?) and after a quick prayer, crawled into bed.

This is where I’ll probably stay until I pick up Biceps this afternoon.

Or until Crossfit.

Today, I rest.

Behind the scenes of Normalcy

You and I both know that for every finished family photo hanging on a wall, there had to be 10 more weird ones rejected. Whether you are the photographer or hired a camera-snapper to do the dirty work-you’ve seen what I’m talking about.

Little Aden is picking his nose. Grandma is coughing into a kleenex. Brother Nimrod is rolling his eyes. And of course, the rabbit ears are a must in at least one photo.

So, when you saw my somewhat normal family photos, you probably thought-“Yeah, but what do they really look like?”.

Let’s discuss this photo.

1. I didn’t make it into the frame, because I set the delay and tripped over the curb.
2. On the left, Biceps doesn’t seem to be helping the distracting situation by dancing.
3. Neither is my oldest (and should be MOST mature) brother who is engaging in some sort of air guitar.
4. Several persons are including the eyes-closed method for taking pictures.
5. One child is intrigued with the veins on the leaves. I get it. They’re cool. But let’s wait for science discoveries until after the photo shoot.
6. One child has paddle hands.
7. The other two look as if they would rather be anywhere else other than here.
8. Pretty much the only “normals” are my 94 year old grandmother and beautiful sis-in-law on the right in an ivory sweater.

But, this is an improvement.

From this.

Who are my stand-ins while I try to find the right lighting. However, things get weirder.

Remember the aforementioned “normal” sis-in-law? She ain’t looking so normal now, is she? More creepy than anything…

It’s just getting creepier.

Do you see what I have to deal with? And I’m so normal, I just don’t understand this weirdness.

Seriously.

Took a Week Off from ME for a Happier Thanksgiving

My personality, left to its own demise, is a get-it-done-right-now personality or lead others to do it with a strong arm. I am a high “D” in most aspects of my life-and if any of you don’t know what that is, here is a quick excerpt from Indy Smallbiz.

General Characteristics – High D’s are direct, decisive and very self confident. 

Communicating with a High D – They don’t like a bunch of detail, so you must be brief, direct and to the point.

Positive Characteristics of High D – They are good leaders and are great in crises. They consistently set and achieve goals. They are task orientated and can provide direction and push a group toward decisions. They are also willing to speak out and give their opinion, and they always see the big picture.

Weaknesses – They come off as blunt, direct and brash. 

Blunt. I’ve been called that a time or two. Ouch.

Each time my parents have visited in the past, I’ve had to go through a decompression time with Biceps. I talk through all the ways I failed to show unconditional love to my family, failed as a self-professed Christian and have inadvertently hurt someone with my words.

I try to justify my harsh responses when someone pushed me too far.

However, “The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.” Luke 6:45

Meaning, when I spew out awful things, it’s because my heart has been focused on awful things.

Yikes. That stings a mite.

Why is it so easy for me to focus on the negatives, when I have SO many positives in my life. Here is my list of positives that will become a cheat sheet for me next year:

1. Amazing, Godly parents and in-laws who are still in love.
2. A wonderful older brother who married a beautiful woman whom he loves and is faithful to.
3. A giving second older brother who would kick anyone’s butt that ever messed with me.
4. A younger brother who chose an awesome woman to marry, who works hard and understands my weirdness.
5. A hot husband who puts God first, me second, our families third, the cats fourth and everything else after that.
6. My health and the ability to wake up every morning and move around on my own two feet.
7. A God who has forgiven me, my stupid mess of a life and who loves me more than I can imagine.
8. The list goes on and on. You get the idea.

What is your cheat sheet for next year?