Christmas is over-what’s next on the list?

Every year, around August, I start thinking about and planning for Christmas. Biceps and I begin discussing that year’s Christmas photo  and I begin gathering costuming and necessary accoutrements.

And, I have a theory about Christmas:

Lists rule, disorganization drools.

List for 2012 Christmas Card Photo:

1. Angel Wings
2. Large Tighty-Whities
3. My “dress”-a white sheet
4. Halo
5. Red Jeans
6. Cape
7. Devil Horns
8. Triton

Totally normal Christmas Photo shoot list for most families, I assume.

And sometime after Thanksgiving, I start scheming for Bicep’s birthday-(also known as my “pre-Christmas”), because he’s a Christmas Eve baby.

List for Bicep’s Birthday:

1. Egg pancakes for Birthday breakfast (Greiman tradition)
2. Some sort of weaponry present
3. Some sort of clothing item present that he will probably return
4. Chocolate cake with chocolate frosting with chocolate ice cream (plus more chocolate options, just in case)
5. Back-up Chocolate

Now, if you know anything about Biceps and I-you know that we are frugal. Christmas is budgeted throughout the year, with a little set aside each month. That way, when present making (or for this year-present buying) comes around, we don’t go into a sticker-shock-induced-coma.

Usual List for homemade presents:

1. 95 Ripe Bananas (boy, do the cashier’s give us a weird look)
2. 8 Bags Pretzel Rods
3. 4 Packages Almond Bark
4. 5 Bags Flour
5. 5 Bags Sugar
6. 3 Jars Molasses
7. 2 Bags Peppermint Candy
8. Etc….

And then there’s the Thank You Note List for Gifts Received (past, present and future):

1. Golden Toilet Lighter from Daniel
2. Self-Adhesive Mustache Pack from Christy
3. Portrait of a Sheriff from Beau
4. Inappropriately Shaped Pine Cone Ornament from Carisa
5. Pooping Penguin from Justin
6. 1966 Ford Mustang from Biceps

But now, the carefully planned out lists have been fulfilled and thrown away. The presents have been unwrapped, the meals have been eaten and the house is silent.

And, it’s time to put all the Christmas cheer back in its appropriate box, wrap it up in tissue paper and store it-once more-up in the attic, until next Christmas.

And I am left with a “Christmas-less” house-until next August when the planning begins again. I don’t have a list anymore. It’s a little disconcerting.

What’s next on your list?

Not Letting Go-Pathetic Brown Mouse

Everyone has that weird sweatshirt-chock full of nostalgia and memories-and so full of holes, that leaving the house with it on would be a travesty. However, giving it away, throwing it out, or even cutting it up for rags is a horrible thought.

I have one of those in my life. A K-State, long-sleeved, 17 year old shirt, with blown out armpits, a barely hanging on collar and with sleeves I have to carefully insert my hands into for fear of tearing them off completely. The shirt is so embarrassing I won’t even take a picture of me in it or just “it” for that matter.

Maxwell, the cat, has the same thing going on with Brown Mouse. This was Brown Mouse just a couple of months ago. He was already pathetic-missing an ear, splitting at the seams and covered in disgusting-ness.

And this is Brown Mouse presently.

Brown Mouse was one of Maxwell’s first toys. The two instantly bonded over a game of fetch-which is one of Max’s favorite past-times. I know, it’s weird for a cat to play fetch. But, Maxwell has never been normal.

Brown Mouse used to rattle, but is now silent. The rattle has been rattled out of him.

He has been baptized (sloshed into the water dish and then transferred to the food dish) almost every day. We have no idea why Max does this, but it’s become commonplace to find Brown Mouse, along with Q-tips or whatever else Max can find, floating in his water dish or covered in sticky food. Ewww.

Brown Mouse isn’t the only mouse we’ve purchased for Max. However, it’s the only mouse Maxwell chooses to play with.

For a few weeks, we couldn’t find Brown Mouse. Maxwell refused to play with Pink Mouse, Black Mouse and Gray Mouse. Then, one day while cleaning underneath the stove, I saw two little beady black eyes staring at me.

Brown Mouse.

Just like my K-State shirt, Maxwell just can’t let Brown Mouse go. It’s awful when friends stop by and ask, incredulously, “What’s that?”.
I answer back, “Oh, that’s just Brown Mouse.”
“It is?”
“Well, it used to be. I guess it’s just a weird pile of fur and plastic now.”
“Why don’t you just buy a new one?”
“They quit making them and Max has refused all of the new toys I bought him.”
“Your cat is weird.”
“I know.”

Let it go, Max. I’ll give up the K-State shirt if you give up Brown Mouse.

What? Ok. I’ll keep my shirt, then.

Family, Forgiveness, Failure

You may argue with me, but I have the best family in the world-both sides of them. My family and my husband’s family are absolutely amazing. Not to say there aren’t flaws in our families, but if one were placing blame, the flaws would mostly rest on me and my inability to be a decent human being.

Look at what my families have to put up with.
It becomes more and more apparent just how flawed I am and how much I need God when I study his Word. How many times when we come together do I allow myself to be frazzled, short with my temper or just plain jerk-like?

Photo Source
And then I realize that to live in peace with everyone is the evidence of my maturing in faith. I am one immature little puppy.

And then to really grind salt in the wound, God showed me this:

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” Ephesians 4:2-3

AGH! BE COMPLETELY HUMBLE?! AND GENTLE? AND PATIENT? What?!-I don’t have time for that!

Artist Lastman Pieter-“Abraham on the Road to Canaan”

Take the story of Abram (Abraham) and Lot, for example. Abram takes Lot, his nephew, under his wing and cares for him and his entire family. Eventually, the two families become rather wealthy-like Bill Gates wealthy-all due to Abram’s generosity. Knowing the land cannot sustain both families and their livestock, Abram and Lot decide to part ways before the herdsmen ripped each other to shreds.

Abram chose to make peace in his family and approached his nephew.

Abram said to Lot, “Hey nephew, what land do you want?”
He gave Lot first choice, although it was Abram’s right to choose first.

Lot responded, “That looks pretty good over there. That’s mine.” He picked up his tent, his family, his livestock and moved to the best possible location for himself.

What a selfish jerk. I would never do something like that. I always put others first and not try to position myself into the best situation.

Abram was generous and knew that, “A generous man will prosper, he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed”, Proverbs 11:25.

God told Abram not only was the land Lot was living on going to be Abram’s eventually, but everything else Abram could see. Now, who got the good deal here?

And, this is when the story gets good.

Lot, being the dumb-butt that he was, not only moved close to the most wicked city of the time-Sodom-he eventually moved into the city and became a judge. Lot must have forgotten everything his Uncle taught him. What an idiot-I remember every lesson that I’ve ever learned from wise people.

The city was invaded by competing kingdoms and Lot and his entire family were captured.

Abram gets ticked off at this point. Not at Lot-which is what I would have done. Abram tucks up his tunic, grabs his 318 trained men and goes to kick some butt.

I can hear his wife, Sarai, saying, “Um…this is the same guy, Abram, that totally screwed you over. Are you sure about this?”

He doesn’t use a tank, but since I’m a military brat-I knew there was a tank called “Abram’s tank”. Hilarious.

Anywho-He wasn’t afraid of loosing his life-all he could think about was rescuing his nephew. Abram rescues Lot and his entire family.

Lot chose the easy life, the pleasant life-and had to be rescued from his life, twice, by Abram. You’d think the man would learn a lesson and be forever grateful.

Nope.

Lot eventually lost his property and his wife and then spent his last, pointless, wasted days in a cave. (Genesis 19:30). That sounds like fun.

Lot missed out on all the awesome promises God gave to Abram-even though he should have received everything. And his godless family followed in Lot’s footsteps and have become enemies of God (Genesis 19:37-38).

Because of selfishness and being a self-seeking person, Lot missed out on all that God had for him.

Abram became the father of many nations. Lot became worm food.

Wow. So, because of Abram’s awesomeness, I have started asking myself how I’ve been approaching my own family.

1. Do I seek out the best for myself, take what’s best for me and forget easily what others have done for me?
2. Do I want to be right instead of being a promoter of peace in my household-even though I deserve to be told that I’m right?
3. Do I want temporary gain over God’s eternal best?

Dang you, Abram. I was just getting comfortable in my rights and boundaries and selfishness.

Christmas Card Photo Reveal 2012

I know the internet world has been holding its breath for the 2012 Greiman Christmas Card Photo revelation. If you are unfamiliar with our tradition, Biceps and I create a photographic masterpiece that we share with our friends, families, accountants, pastors and the like.

No one is safe from this awesomeness.

And, if you haven’t seen the last 11 years of our Christmas Card Photo glory, you should probably catch up. It will make your Monday morning.

AND WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, HERE IS THE 2012 GREIMAN CHRISTMAS CARD PHOTO IN ALL OF ITS SPLENDOR:

Nothing says “Merry Christmas” like giving the devil a good, old-fashioned wedgie.

Merry Christmas!