Kitties likes to scratch

The kittens have yet to be decorated with anything other than their own fur. I’ve been hoping to find some very chic and hip collars for them, but so far have found only something that reminds me of Blue’s Clue’s pattern.

However, if they do ever escape,Bianca and Maxwell need identifiers. So, Blue’s Clues pattern it was-pink for Bianca and blue for Maxwell.

Maxwell did not like his new collar.

At this point, half of it is in his mouth, locked in his jaw and he can’t seem to figure out what to do with this new accessory.

He flipped…

…and he flopped, in a rather ticked off manner.

Bianca threw herself to the ground and tried using the rug to remove it.

I’m unsure what her real plan was here.

Let’s just say, we’ll see how long term the ol Blue’s Clues collars will be. I think the shelf life may be rather short.

Cats on the Counter, Training Help?

Dear Readers:
I need your help in the cat training department. It may seem surprising to tell you these kittens aren’t perfect. And yes, they are so cute it’s hard to believe they don’t obey my every command. In fact, their cuteness is the only thing keeping them around sometimes-to be honest.

Max gets a kick out of knocking the mannequin heads off of the fireplace mantel. Bianca has literally figured out how to turn on the kitchen sink faucet and sets up camp in the sink to drink to her little heart’s content. (She has a dish of fresh water each day, but this apparently isn’t good enough.)

This is how our discipline began with the tender kittens: A firm “NO” and a finger wag.
This did absolutely nothing.

Second came the squirt bottle. Initially, they didn’t like it and would run for the hills. But, then they got used to being hosed and held their ground as I sprayed them directly in the face during their naughty escapade.

We have since upgraded to an air horn. It’s ear splitting and I hate to use it-mostly because it deafens me and I know the neighbors can hear it. (I’m sure they just chalk it up to “those weird Greimans”.)
I think the cats are getting used to this, too.

For example, I have been sick for the last few days. The house was suddenly too quiet. I forced myself out of bed to find Max lounging on the kitchen counter and he was watching Bianca licking water from the faucet. They saw me-air horn and all, but went right on with what they were doing. I honked the air horn and both kittens scattered off into the living room-but were right back in position maybe 5 minutes later.

So, dear readers: how do you train your cat? I need some suggestions before I go crazy.

Gross Things-Volume 1

For those of you who think I might keep a perfect house-it is now time for me to inform you that you are sadly mistaken. Over the next few days, I am going to get really real about what goes on in the Potholes and Pantyhose homestead.
Today, I am about to show you something that is rather embarrassing.

We have two very wonderful, but very furry kitties. I love the fur on their bodies. I don’t love it all over everything in my house. It’s gross.
But since they do super cute things like this, they are easily forgiven and doted over.

 

Change the scene to my sleeping habits. In typical girl fashion, I sleep under two extra blankets to Bicep’s one. Today was the day to wash aforementioned blankets.
I pulled what you see pictured here from my lint trap after blanket number one went through the dryer.

 

This is from one blanket. This is not built up over time. I clean out the lint trap with each load-I am totally anal about this.

 

This is disgusting. This is what I’ve been sleeping under.

 

This is pure fur.
The cats have managed to make a blanket for themselves out of their own fur.
It’s almost beautifully poetic, except that it is completely gross.

I almost didn’t show you this, for fear of judgement. But, it’s just too amazing though to keep to myself. I hope you enjoyed today’s “Gross Things-Volume 1”.

Don’t worry-there will be more Gross Things very soon.

The Fireplace Incident

I was working away in my office (my office at home-what do you think-I leave the house? HA!) when I heard a distinct thump in the living room, cat claws skidding out on the hardwood floor, a rustling of some plastic substance and then–silence.

Curious, but not unaccustomed to such shenanigans, I made my way out to find the reason for the scuffle. Nothing in the house seemed to be destroyed, knocked over or out of place-this time.

That’s when my “cat-dar” went up. After much searching, I only located a very wigged out Max, hiding on the top ledge in the bathroom.

Look at the size of those pupils.

His tail was puffed out and upon further inspection, which I later regretted-was found to be sticky and wet.

Ew.

After several minutes of calling for Bianca, this little lady greeted me by the front door.

Ms. Perfect White Pants was covered in soot, head to toe.

Now, Ms. Bianca will vacate the house and hide in the dirty chimney in order to escape one of three things:

1. Kayle’s drumming
2. Small, Noisy Children
3. An unnamed source on this day in question

And the story began to unfold….

I decided to inspect the amount of soot she must have brought down with her from a romp in the chimney, and assess vacuuming vs sweeping.

If you’ll notice, in the upper left hand corner of the fireplace, there is something protruding from the chimney.

A Wal-mart bag was hanging out of, and partially stuck inside of the chimney. I had known one of my earlier grocery bags went mysteriously missing this morning.

I’m weird that way.

Secondly, the hearth was covered in wet, sticky residue-reminiscent of Max’s tail.

Upon removing the bag, one can easily see it had been ripped to shreds.

And Bianca returned to the scene, trying to cover up whatever it was she did with her little sooty paws.

Max would not join either of us for the rest of the day. He stayed perched on his ledge, with wigged out eyes if Bianca ever entered the room.

The Nancy Drew side of me wanted to know the full story. Someone knows something-but no one was talking-to me or to each other. I will just have to chalk this up to an unsolved case.