Gardening-What a Load of Poop!

“Why do I do the things I don’t want to do and don’t do the things I want to do?”-Apostle Paul, after unloading 1600 pounds of manure by himself to fertilize the Garden of Gethsemane, 60 A.D..

I could have waited for Bicep’s help-waited for his biceps. But that man works so hard already, I thought I would save him this little bit of trouble.

Which turned out not being a “little bit of trouble”.
The sweet old van was loaded down with the 1600 pounds of poop-and I tried backing up our drive per usual (“for quick get-aways”, according to Biceps).

The trailer hitch scraped at the steep concrete, screaming at me to stop. My neighbors flocked outdoors, mouths agape, wondering what that weirdo girl was up to again.

So, I quit my dog and pony show and parked on the street instead.

This was my means of transportation for every last pound of poop.

This incline on my driveway was my arch nemesis to the caravan of crap.

This was my support team throughout the ordeal.

These were the remaining bags as I neared halfway through the poop cartel.

This is my political statement towards how our government is being run today-“A disbursement of a lot of crap!”.

This was my view as I dropped the last bag, covered in a lot of sweat and a bit of poop, wishing for a hot shower and a cold beverage. My mood was in the pooper, my muscles felt like crap and I wondered if all of this composting business was just a pile of manure.

My neighbor called from across the fence and shouted, “What a load of sh**!”. Which of course made me laugh and made the entire ordeal humorous and worth sharing with you all.

The Difference Between Man and Wife and Laundry

Awhile back, I noted a difference between Man and Wife in my own household when painting our windows. Biceps was surprisingly not himself when it came time to grab the paintbrush. But, I won’t reiterate what I’ve already stated-you can read about our window difference, if you are looking for something to do.
This Sunday morning, I would like to show the difference between Man and Wife and Laundry.
Here’s a pile of my laundry from one load.

Three pairs of socks and a workout shirt. To be fair, I have several unmentionables hanging to dry and a pair of running shorts.

And this is a pile of Bicep’s clothes from the same load. How does one man go through so many things in a matter of a couple of days?
Yeah, he’s fighting fires, working out and just generally being a sweaty guy. But, come on.

Six t-shirts…

…six pairs of socks and four unmentionables.

Thank goodness I am making my own Cheap Laundry Soap or the household budget might be busted with this guy around.

But, since he’s such a hard working man, it’s worth the extra soap to keep this sweaty guy clean.

Spring is Here! Winter is gone. But which is better?

Biceps and I have argued for years about what season of year is the best. He’s partial to the Fall-light jackets are necessary, trees are turning yellows/reds/oranges and the beverage of choice is coffee.

I personally love the Spring time.

But, I’ll be honest-the biggest reason that I love the Spring is that it means my birthday is right around the corner.

I will be making my case as to why Spring is the “Superior Season”. I would like for you to judge the facts, and see if you don’t come to the same awesome conclusion.

Besides my birthday (which I may need to remind you that you only have 59 shopping days left),I love the reminder that we once were dead and now we are alive in Him-seen as the naked trees bud, the brown and prickly grass turns green and soft, and the dormant flowers are in bloom.

But, on a less philosophical note, I also know this time of year means the lovely and delicious Cadbury Easter Eggs will be placed strategically at every cash register in America. Yum.

But, I digress.

When the weather starts getting warmer, the neighbors venture outside, shielding their eyes from something we haven’t seen in months-the sun.

One of my favorite neighbors will sit out back with her precious little white dogs and read for hours.

I know that there is always some out there to talk to, share gardening tips with or chat over Bicep’s latest adventure in firefighting.

Doors and windows are left open, giving the breeze full reign. Shorts are dusted off and legs are shaved. The garden will be planted soon-which promises a harvest and a physical measure of hard work.
The neighborhood is alive with strollers, bikes, dog walkers and runners. There is life, shared life, as we smile at each other, catch up on the other and enjoy the sun.

I think I have made my case. In my opinion-Spring wins the “Superior Season Contest”. But Biceps says the jury is still out.

The Eleven Year Non-Itch

Biceps and I will celebrate 11 years today as a married couple. This amount of time is just a hair longer than we’ve actually known each other.

Let me tell you, this boy moves fast when he finally comes to a decision. (If you want to know more about our backstory, read “How I met Biceps“. It’s good bathroom reading.)

Eleven years ago today, we said our “I do’s”. And here are eleven things that I’ve learned about my marriage since that wonderful moment we became one:

1. Mumbling under your breath gets you absolutely nowhere except into more anger.

2. Men, no matter who they are, want to hear that they are
A) Hot-not handsome, cute or sexy (although these are good things to say, too) but HOT,
B) A good provider and
C) Able to beat up Daniel Craig.

3. If you want anything to change in your marriage, prayer is the first thing you do, complaining about it is the last.

4. Don’t present a problem in your relationship without a viable solution.

5. Never call your husband’s hands “small” or “cute”. Trust me on this one.

6. If you want your husband to be your best friend, do the things he enjoys doing (within reason and within the boundaries of the law)-including watching that horrible army movie when you would rather watch Alvin and the Chipmunks.

7. A good meal, a clean, peaceful home and a presentable self may seem archaic, but they are magic to a marriage’s soul.

8. If you are your husband’s biggest fan, he will be yours.

9. Never insult your husband in public-only offer praise of the man you chose to marry.

10. If he doesn’t like the shirt, the pants, the shoes, etc.-what’s the point in wearing them? Who am I dressing for anyways?

11. If he screws up, be his confidant, not his condemner.

I love you so much, Biceps. Thank you for waiting for me, for choosing me, for honoring me and for loving me every single day of our married life. I know you aren’t perfect, but you are perfect for me.