Modeling is for those who don’t want to sit.

Last night, I did something that I’ve never done before. I modeled-on a runway, with crazy hair, makeup, nails and a recycled dress for the Ihloff Fall Collection Show. I have no idea why I was asked, other than I was available and could walk in a straight line.

This production was larger in scope than I was expecting-with close to 100 models, hair stylists and their assistants. Mayhem, attitudes and hair extensions reigned supreme.

It was a strange experience for me. I undressed willingly in front of people I had never met. I had stylists up in my business 24/7 with hands in places that would make you blush.

It started off innocently enough at 10am. Chrissie (my good friend and BSF partner) began the hair process. Nerves had not kicked in and smiles were easy to come by.

But by 2pm, I had my nails done and was now starving. My Christian witness was on the brink of collapsing.

I know most models have a “no food policy”, but this girl does not. Now I know why models always look so angry and skinny. They’re deprived of food.

By 5pm, I had soda cans in my hair and my makeup was completed. I had consumed a PB & J by this point, so things were looking up for me.

Notice the smile has returned? This gal on the right, Chrissie, is not only beautiful, sweet but extremely talented.

100 Dove Wrappers and 40 Topeca Coffee bags later, I was contact-papered into my dress. (Please ignore the toilet in the background-it kind’ve ruins the vibe).

I loved the concept and the design of the dress that I wore it home to show a certain Biceps that couldn’t make it.

With the dress applied, I could only walk at a pace half my own, could not sit down and could not go to the bathroom-mainly because I couldn’t bend over to reach my skivvies.

The dress was “applied” at 6pm and the show ended at 9. For a lady that needs a bathroom break every 15 minutes, holding “it” was the hardest part of my job.

By 8pm, I was on stage-part of the finale of the show. Chrissie finished my hair live on stage, and then ripped off my smock to reveal the recycled dress underneath-much to the crowd’s delight.

Then…I had to walk the runway-without tripping, falling, and without any part of my dress malfunctioning.

Successfully, I made it down and back the runway with my heart pounding in my chest, trying not to make eye contact with the audience and trying not to smile because models are serious. (Insert pouty face-reminder of the “no food policy” aforementioned).

I smiled anyways-the crowd was clapping and who wouldn’t smile when clapped for? Plus, I didn’t trip once. That’s worth smiling about. It was an interesting, fun, exhausting, and sticky experience-but I’m not sure I’m cut out for this business.

After all, modeling is definitely for those who don’t want to sit down.

Winning Wednesday with el Presidente

Yesterday, I was the first in line at 6 am. I was a bit ambitious getting there so early and the darkened parking lot proved it. But, once the sun started rising a bit, another car showed up. I hopped out-determined to be the first.

Trailing just slightly behind me was a classy “gray haired” decked out in red, white and blue. She had a compact with a powder puffy thing still intact which she used to check her red lipstick. I wore a black peacoat and had a tube of homemade lip balm.

Seemingly worlds apart, I decided to strike up a conversation with Number #2 while we waited and see how our worlds just might overlap. We were probably 40 years apart, but soon realized we couldn’t have been more similar.

I teased her that even though Oklahoma is now an “Open-Carry” state, she wasn’t allowed to bring her gun inside the church (our polling location). She told me to shut off my “fancy cell phone device”. We talked about stay-at-home mom’s versus working mom’s (she had been both), about what part of the neighborhood we lived in and where we grew up.

The one thing both of us avoided talking about was politics. Which was ironic as we stood in line to vote for the biggest election that I can remember. She told me how the whole system worked, having been on the other side of the table more than 30 years.

We both agreed there should have been fancier booths rather than the plastic separation devices perched atop a makeshift table. And, we both agreed there should be more balloons and streamers once our ballot was eaten by the alien-voting-tabulating-machine.

Then she asked me how I had come upon my decision to vote. And that’s what stopped me cold. How do I tell a complete stranger that I not only review the issues, the background of the candidate, their track record-but most importantly-I pray about it? Sounds rather hokey.

But, I did.

And she smiled. And winked. And then she said, “That’s the best way to do it, hun.”

A Plethora of Friday Men

I may have bit off more than I can chew. I decided it was high time to met all of these men my husband is hanging out with every day at “work”-and their wives.

Possessed by insanity, I said to Biceps, “Sure, invite all 30 guys (and wives and kids) over to our house on Friday. I’ll cook up some spicy chili.”

Sounds easy enough, right? And then I realized these men are MEN and won’t be eating one measly little “serving” of chili.

They’ll probably want two or three servings, if not more-and let’s not forget the wives. All in all, I’ll need enough for maybe 60+ servings. And then I began to make my grocery list.

Photo Source-Amazon.com
I’ve decided in order to offset the cost of aforementioned grocery bill, I will be shooting a firefighter’s calendar that same evening, unbeknownst to my guest.

I will be taking orders*.

*you better know that I am kidding.

Homemade Kitchen Products & Fox23’s Great Day, Green Country

Once again, I will be LIVE on Fox23’s “Great Day, Green Country” this morning discussing my recipes for Homemade Laundry Products. Each of the recipes are easy to make and fit a frugal (cheap) lifestyle.

(As soon as the live video is up on Great Day Green Country’s site, I will post it here.)

Here are the links to my other appearances on Fox23’s Great Day Green Country:

Homemade Cleaning Products
Homemade Beauty Products 
Homemade Laundry Items

Today, I will be sharing Non-Toxic Products for the kitchen while LIVE on tv, sweating, perspiring, melting, stinking it up…. It’s going to be awesome.

Below are the items I will be sharing today on tv, along with the links to the step-by-step recipes.

I will show you how to make your very own Non-Toxic Produce Cleaner (Veggie Wash). It only takes a second to put together and cost pennies on the dollar. Plus, you probably already have everything you need right there in your kitchen.

I will also share with you how to make a simple and cheap Non-Toxic Cooking Spray and avoid the carcinogens found in most aerosol cooking sprays. Yeck. Who wants to eat cancer? No thank you.

Lastly, I’ll be sharing with you how to anti-bacterialize all those nooks and crannies found in your kitchen with a Non-Toxic Anti-Bacterial Spray. Sounds like fun, doesn’t it?

So, not only will you get to see this on television this morning (of course wearing a different dress), you’ll get to learn how to make all of the above recipes and rid your home of hidden toxins.

I think this is a real win-win. Just pray for me that I won’t produce massive pit sweat when the cameras turn on and create wet rings on my vintage dress. Please. I’m serious….

Here are links to my other Homemade Household Cleansers and Beauty Products:

Homemade Hygiene Products
Non-Toxic Beauty Products
Non-Toxic Cooking Spray
Anti-Bacterial Spray
Easy Laundry Soap
DIY Brass Cleaner
Organic Vegetable/Produce Cleaner
Homemade Household Cleaners

And here are a few Homemade Food Items to easily replace store-bought items:
Simple, Tasty Granola
Easy Crockpot Yogurt
Simple, Homemade Butter
Cooking and Freezing Beans, avoiding BPA
Homemade Hummus
Garden Fresh Salsa

Thanks so much for stopping by and spending time with such a weirdo. Make sure you become a Facebook Fan or a Linky Follower to keep up to date with what this weirdo comes up with next. Have a great day!

If these parties are up, I link to them! (Here’s my complete Linky Party Page):
Monday: Crafts Keep Me Sane, The Better Baker, Skip to My Lou, DIY Showoff, Say Not, Sumo’s Sweet Stuff, Etcetorize, Sew Chatty, Brassy Apple, Flour Me With Love, Creating my Way, Mad in Crafts, Our Delightful Home, Sew Can Do, It’s So Very Cheri, Craft O Maniac, Polly Want a Crafter, Tuesday: Craft Edition, Inspiration Board , New Nostalgia , Lettered Life , Coastal Charm, Tip Junkie , Ladybug Blessings, Hope Studios , Todays Creative Blog, Wednesday: Someday Crafts , Day2DayJoys, Jillify It , Junk in the Trunk, We are that Family , Frugally Sustainable, Sew Much Ado, Fine Craft Guild , The Thrifty Home, My Girlish Whims , Quick, Easy, Cheap & Healthy, Trendy Treehouse, Thursday: Somewhat Simple, No Minimalist Here , A Glimpse Inside, The Mommy Club, The 36th Avenue, Cheap Chic Home, Beyond the Picket Fence, Fireflies and Jellybeans , House of Hepworths , The Shabby Chic Cottage, Friday: My Repurposed Life, It’s a HodgePodge Life, The Shabby Nest, Just Wingin’ It, One Artsy Momma, French Country Cottage, Finding Fabulous, Passionately Artistic, Petals and Picots, Simply Designing, Little Becky Homecky, My Romantic Home, Bacon Time, Simply Living, Saturday: Polkadot Pretties, Tatertots and Jello, Create and Inspire, Be Different, Act Normal, Craft Envy, Funky Junk Interiors, Petites Passion, Sunday: Under the Table, Natural Mothers, Mopping the Floor