Deceitfully Yours-Kittens and Christmas

They look innocent and act as if they never do anything wrong. As Bianca scratches at the rug, I firmly say, “No!”. She looks up at me and doesn’t stop. That’s when the spanking happens. It doesn’t faze her. In fact, when I’m spanking Max, he plops over, shows his belly and starts purring. How can you discipline that?

I still try, but more often than not end up laughing. I know-terrible parenting.

But, we’ve had some issues this Christmas that’s about to push me over the edge. My firm “NO!”, the increased velocity on the spankings, and air horn blasts that deafen me-are not doing the trick.

Ornaments are found broken and strewn about if I turn my back for a second. And they sit there in the midst of the rubble as if they have no idea how it happened.

Our home has become a battleground instead of the peaceful Christmas atmosphere I was hoping for. If I leave home, I have to prop a chair against the swinging door leading from the living room into the kitchen to banish these two naughty ornament destroyers.

(They’ve figured how to push against the door to get it to open. These are highly trained ninja cats.)

And the two guest bathroom doors have to remain shut, because they cannot handle the temptations of the tinsel and tiny ornaments in jars.

Their world is getting smaller and smaller and they aren’t liking it.

They may look docile, have extremely cute paws and cuddle me to death at night, but don’t be deceived. These highly trained ninja cats with razor sharp claws are on a mission to destroy Christmas and my sanity.

Help! How do you keep your animals away from your Christmas decor?

Took a Week Off from ME for a Happier Thanksgiving

My personality, left to its own demise, is a get-it-done-right-now personality or lead others to do it with a strong arm. I am a high “D” in most aspects of my life-and if any of you don’t know what that is, here is a quick excerpt from Indy Smallbiz.

General Characteristics – High D’s are direct, decisive and very self confident. 

Communicating with a High D – They don’t like a bunch of detail, so you must be brief, direct and to the point.

Positive Characteristics of High D – They are good leaders and are great in crises. They consistently set and achieve goals. They are task orientated and can provide direction and push a group toward decisions. They are also willing to speak out and give their opinion, and they always see the big picture.

Weaknesses – They come off as blunt, direct and brash. 

Blunt. I’ve been called that a time or two. Ouch.

Each time my parents have visited in the past, I’ve had to go through a decompression time with Biceps. I talk through all the ways I failed to show unconditional love to my family, failed as a self-professed Christian and have inadvertently hurt someone with my words.

I try to justify my harsh responses when someone pushed me too far.

However, “The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.” Luke 6:45

Meaning, when I spew out awful things, it’s because my heart has been focused on awful things.

Yikes. That stings a mite.

Why is it so easy for me to focus on the negatives, when I have SO many positives in my life. Here is my list of positives that will become a cheat sheet for me next year:

1. Amazing, Godly parents and in-laws who are still in love.
2. A wonderful older brother who married a beautiful woman whom he loves and is faithful to.
3. A giving second older brother who would kick anyone’s butt that ever messed with me.
4. A younger brother who chose an awesome woman to marry, who works hard and understands my weirdness.
5. A hot husband who puts God first, me second, our families third, the cats fourth and everything else after that.
6. My health and the ability to wake up every morning and move around on my own two feet.
7. A God who has forgiven me, my stupid mess of a life and who loves me more than I can imagine.
8. The list goes on and on. You get the idea.

What is your cheat sheet for next year?

Veterans Day in 3 Pictures

Yesterday, I enjoyed the Veteran’s Day Parade in downtown Tulsa. Several people I knew were participating in the parade and my friends and I enjoyed waving our flags from the sidelines, gathering our candy (for the kids…) and honoring our heroes.

However, one participant stood out more than all the others.

The parade route was an hour long. This man walked the entire thing.

As I watched him slowly walk by, the pride on his face was evident. Tears were in my eyes and I couldn’t help myself as they fell onto my cheeks. And then he looked straight at me.

“Thank you!”, I shouted to him. I don’t know if he could hear me over the rumble of motorcycles, the shriners in tiny Mustangs and the diesel trucks pulling floats.

Thank you-Dad, Grandpa, Uncle Bill, Uncle Ron, Jacob Smith, Sam Bieber, Andrew Vasey and everyone else that have sacrificed your bodies, time with your families and yourselves in order for me to have my freedom. And so that I can stand on the sidelines of a parade and root for you. Thank you.

Spicy Chili, Spicy Night

An Italian, a cat and a chef walk into a bar. The bartender said, “What’ll it be?” The Italian said, “Red Wine, from my home country.” The cat said, “2% Milk, on the rocks.” The chef said, “Everything you’ve got. I have a party tonight and the more they drink, the better my food tastes.”

Buh-duh-schhhh….

Ok, so that was lame. Ok, so I made it up. And yes, I know telling jokes is not my forte. But now you’ve seen a glimpse of the real, lame-oid Rebekah. Tah-dah.

This is what happens to your humor if you get up at 5am to start cooking chili. It gets weird, then it gets strange, then it gets bad.

I ended up on bad.

I had a few people (hah!) over to the house this weekend and thought it would be fun to serve up a ton of chili, cornbread muffins and call it a day. I started off with a simple recipe that grew into a complicated mathematical equation in order to serve 60.

Ground Beef-check. 10 Pounds-check. Drain the fat-check.

Open up 26 cans of beans-check.

Consider buying an electric can opener-check.

Chop up 15 yellow onions-check.

Scavenge garden for peppers, chop up, seal in ziplock bags and don’t rub eyes-wish I could say “check” here.

Cook for at least an hour utilizing the capacity of your canners because none of your real pots are big enough. Don’t allow chili to burn on the bottom-again, wish I could say “check”.

Have a nervous breakdown, pour the contents of the chili out of the canners into at least 7 other smaller pots, scrape the burnt beans off of the bottom, scrub pot for at least 30 minutes, taste chili, confirm it doesn’t taste burnt, transfer back into the canners and turn down heat-check.

Make 60 cornbread muffins-check.

Cut up 2 lbs of carrots and 3 celery bunches-check.

Clean house-check.

Have a glass of wine-double check.

Wait for guests to arrive. Enjoy the night-check.

Eat the leftover chili for the next week-check.