Archive for category: Featured

Top Ten Reasons to be a Dad

I am not a dad, but I do have one. And in the 34 years of knowing my Dad, I’ve learned why he chose to be a Dad-along with a few other things, like:

 

duct tape
Duct tape fixes everything, even flip flops.

But, here are the top ten reasons that I think my Dad became a dad.

 

Dad Mustache
1. You can pretty much wear anything, if you’re a dad. You might even hear, “Oh, that’s just my dad.”

2. Mustaches look sleazy on most guys, but if you have a wedding ring and your toting around 4 kids, you can get by with it.

 

Mom and Dad
3. You have the right to embarrass your kids-because, after all-you can punish them if they make fun of you.

4. You finally get to say, “Don’t make me turn this car around!”.

 

My dad is hard to describe. He’s an ordained minister, a retired Lieutenant Colonel in the army, a musician, a great story teller and the best man to measure your husband next to.   That’s my dad.
5. When you become a dad, you automatically know how to carve a turkey, change the oil, fix a garbage disposer, change a diaper and make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Or not.

6. You always get to say the prayer at the dinner table, making it as long-winded as you want.

 

Mom & Dad-Apple Day
7. If you are awesome-like my Dad is-your kids will grow up to think you are the most amazing father in the world. And they will tell you often. And visit you. And call you. And hug you.

8. But, even if you are awesome-you will also hear a lot of stupidity out of your children as they grow up. Because, let’s face it. Kids are stupid. But, since you’re awesome, you remain calm, pray for sanity and spank on.

 

Matlach Family Thanksgiving 2012-Mom and Dad
9. You get to say, “Because I said so”, and “Because your mother said so.” You prefer the first, but will use the latter if need be.

10. You get presents on father’s day, including-but not limited to: licorice, updated clothing items, bar-b-que gift certificates, hand-painted art projects, perhaps a reenactment of your life put on in a dramatic form complete with costumes, and socks.

Who wouldn’t want to be a dad? Happy Father’s Day, Dad. I LOVE YOU!

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Springy, Silk Scarf Shirt-Live on GDGC

This morning, I will again be LIVE on Fox23’s “Great Day, Green Country” showing how to make this Springy, Silk Scarf Shirt. I like to create many of the items I wear-this not only helps pinch pennies but prevents the awkward ‘you’re wearing the same thing I’m wearing’ at a party. This scarf shirt is inexpensive and very simple to make.
Not only will it flatter any body type as it tapers in at the smallest point of the waist, but it will also keep you cool throughout a hot summer.
Skill Level: If I can do it, you can do it. (A.K.A. Easy.)

 

The robots have determined my live video can be viewed now. Enjoy. Nanu-nanu.

 


What you’ll need:
2 Scarves (approx. 2’ x 2’)
Sewing Machine
Thread and Bobbin to Match
Straight Pins
Lighter
Scissors
(2) 3″ squares and (4) 2″ squares Hem or Bias Tape, fold cut sides and iron flat
(2) 12″ sections of Craft Ribbon or Section of Snaps (like on a onesy)
(3) 2″ sections of velcro if not using snaps
(2) 18″ Sections of Craft Ribbon

 

 


Determine which scarf will be your ‘front’ and which will be the ‘back’ of your shirt.
Lay your scarves end to end and measure the center. Pin the two pieces of 3” hem tape, 6 inches on either side of center. The area in the middle will be your neck opening.
And if you have a really big head or constantly sport a big hairdo, then widen the opening for heaven’s sake.

 


On what will be the sides of your scarf, measure 14 1/2” down. This measurement should be just above your belly button.
This will enhance the tiny part of your waist and make you look va-va-voom.
Using the 2” hem tape, pin both sections of the 18″ ribbon on the side of your ‘front scarf’ at the 14 1/2” mark.

 


Follow the same instructions if you are using snaps, pinning them onto the ‘back scarf.’ If using the 12″ ribbon and velcro, sew the (3) 2″ sections of velcro along the ribbon. Use the 2″ bias tape to secure the ribbon to the back scarf.

 


Sew everything you have pinned on with a straight stitch, making a box with the thread around the hem tape.
This ‘box’ protects the delicate nature of silk from tearing. And when you’ve eaten too much, you’ll be thankful for it.

 


Sew the ends of the ribbon to prevent them from fraying–unless you like that worn look. Or, you can use a lighter to burn the ends which will also prevent fraying.

 


After slipping your shirt over your head, fasten the snaps or the velcro in the front around your stomach area, and tie it closed with the ribbon in the back.

It looks great paired with skinny jeans, a flowy skirt or shorts. I tend to wear bold, chunky jewelry with my scarf shirt, but I give you permission to accessorize at will.

Happy Sewing!

♥ ♥ ♥

Here are the links to my other LIVE TV appearances on Fox23’s Great Day Green Country:

Here are links to my Homemade Household Cleansers and Beauty Products:

And here are a few Homemade Food Items to easily replace store-bought items:

Thanks so much for stopping by and spending time with such a weirdo. Make sure you become a Facebook Fan or a Linky Follower to keep up to date with what this weirdo comes up with next. Have a great day!

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Garage Sale Addict-Part 9

This morning, I’m sharing Chapter 4, Part 9 of my story, “Garage Sale Addict”. If you’d like to catch up, here’s:
Garage Sale Addict, Part 1
Garage Sale Addict, Part 2
Garage Sale Addict, Part 3
Garage Sale Addict-Part 4
Garage Sale Addict-Part 5
“Garage Sale Addict-Part 6”
“Garage Sale Addict-Part 7”
“Garage Sale Addict-Part 8”

And, here is my disclaimer one more time…

Disclaimer: I am nervous about sharing this. Instead of me being able to use words like “crap” or my made up favorites like “goody-ness”, what I’m about to share will be held to a higher standard. Because it’s part of my hidden soul-my personal writing projects. Who knows if this will ever go anywhere-but it’s fun to write and to dream. I’d love to hear what you have to say, or maybe I won’t.

 

*********Part 9
Chapter 4

“Micah! Hello! Anyone home?”, Bonnie pounded on Micah’s front door.

He soon opened the front door, Spartan following closely behind.

“Hey, Bonnie. It’s good to see you.”

“Yeah-you too. When was the last time you saw Rosalyn?” Bonnie had a ratty tissue between her hand, wringing it the entire time she spoke. She wiped at a tear that spilled onto her cheek.

“Bonnie, what’s wrong?” Micah placed a hand on her shoulder.

“I’ve been calling her all day and she hasn’t answered. It’s not like her. She always answers.”

“I’m sure there’s an explanation. Maybe she’s just taking a day for herself. Or maybe she’s photographing and can’t pick up.”

“She called me this morning to tell me she was meeting The Suit downtown at 10am.” Another tear spilled out.

Micah quickly told her of their encounter the night before at the sushi restaurant.

“I thought the whole thing was pretty strange, but now it’s getting really weird. Let’s go look for her.” He grabbed the keys off the wall, leashed up Spartan and led Bonnie to his car.

It only took the pair fifteen minutes to get downtown, and they began circling the building that was Roslayn’s destination. The building was dark, the streets vacant.

“Are you sure this is the right address?”, Micah asked.

“Positive. I even had her text it to me-just in case.” Bonnie started crying again.

Micah pulled into the parking garage adjacent to the building. The bottom level of the garage only had a scooter, so Micah drove the ramp up onto the second level. They both spotted Rosalyn’s car at the same time.

“There it is!” Bonnie flung open Micah’s car door before he had completely stopped. She began peering through the window’s on Rosalyn’s car. Micah joined her and tried each door and the trunk.

“It’s locked. Her purse is gone, but her camera bag is in plain sight on the back seat,” he said.

“If she was robbed, they would have taken her camera. That means, all they wanted-was-her.” Bonnie started sobbing again.

Micah grabbed Bonnie and hugged her.

“It’s going to be alright. We’ll call the police, we’ll figure this out. Let’s look for any clue as to which way she went.”

Bonnie immediately quit crying and began scanning the pavement. She found a bottle cap, a quarter and a lid to a coffee cup.

“Wait a second, this looks like Rosalyn’s travel mug lid,” she said. “In fact, I know it is. She went this way.”

Bonnie headed towards the staircase Rosalyn had previously fled to. She stopped a few feet before the stairs and bent over to smell the cement.

“Look at this, it’s a puddle of drying coffee.”

“Maybe somebody spilled their coffee?”, Micah asked.

“I think Rosalyn used what she learned in her self-defense class and threw hot coffee on someone.”

“Smart girl.” Micah said.

“I see scuff marks all the way up the stairs, as if something was dragged from above.”

Bonnie slowly ascended the staircase pointing at each scuff mark as she passed.

“I think you missed your calling, Detective Bonnie.”

“Lots of Nancy Drew books. Lots.”

The scuff marks ended at the top of the stairs. They were surrounded by four tall buildings, all of which were dark.

“Now what?,” she said.

“If I were Rosalyn, forced against my will, what would I do?”, Micah asked.

“I would leave a trail.”

“A trail of what?”

“Of whatever I had on hand.”

The pair began scouring the pavement once again, searching for clues. The had traveled several feet before something caught Bonnie’s eye.

“Micah, I think this might be a start.” She lifted up a pink sticky note that had been crumpled into a wad.

“Those look like the ones she’s been using at her garage sale. Good girl, Ros.” Micah jumped a few feet forward, picking up another sticky note wad.

“Look-there’s one in the grass ahead of you.”

The trail ended at the hedges surrounding the civic center building. They looked at the backside of the building, void of doors, windows or any sort of entrance.

“Maybe she went around the side. Or, maybe these weren’t her sticky notes.” Bonnie slumped to the grass. Micah sat down next to her, smoothing out each sticky note.

“These are definitely hers. Look at the handwriting. I would recognize the way she writes “7’s” anywhere, with the line going straight through it.”

“It always irritated her when she couldn’t read people’s 2’s or 7’s.” Bonnie sniffled and smiled.

“These look like sticky notes from her last sale. She must have stuffed them in her pockets. That means, we’re on the right trail. Come on, let’s keep looking.” Micah lifted Bonnie up and headed around the side of the building.

 

**********

 

The speaker shouted at her, breaking the silence that had been permeating her cell.

“How do your friends know where you’re at?”

Rosalyn, huddled in the corner, only lifted up her head.

“I told Bonnie where I was going. My friends keep track of me, because they care. Not that you would ever know what that feels like.” She buried her head back into her hands.

“I don’t appreciate your sarcasm.”

“Well, get used to it.”

“How much longer do you want to stay here, Ms. Jones?”

“Forever.” She rolled her eyes. “Of course I don’t want to be here. Will you please just let me go? It’s only a matter of time before my friends find out where you’re keeping me.”

The door suddenly opened and The Suit stepped inside. He calmly walked towards the chair, pulled it out and quietly sat down.

“They’ll never find you, Ms. Jones. You see-you are at our mercy. You are hidden between two floors, something only a few select people know about. This area is encased in concrete and even if you try to escape, you’ll never figure out how to get out of here. Where you’re at was created with the express purpose of never being able to be found.”

“If I tell you what you want to know, will you let me go?” Rosalyn looked up just for a second, worried he might see her tears.

“That depends on what you tell us.” The Suit touched his ear and responded, ‘Copy that’ to no one. “Your friends have given up. They’re gone.”

“That’s a lie. They’ll never give up.”

“That’s not what it looks like to me, Ms. Jones. They just left in a black jeep. A dog was in the back seat. It looks as if you are very much alone.”

Rosalyn didn’t care anymore-she started to cry. The Suit threw a packet of tissues at her from his pocket and left the room.

 

*****

“Yes, her name is Rosalyn Jones. She’s been missing since this morning. Yes, I’ll hold.” Bonnie practically screamed into the phone. Micah patted her shoulder, but continued to drive.

He could hear squabbling on the other end and hoped the police had already found her.

“What do you mean-24 hours?! She’s been kidnapped and I have to wait a whole day before you’ll do anything?” Bonnie had pulled the phone away from her ear and yelled directly into the mic at the bottom of the phone. “She could be dead by then! Who’s your superior officer? I want to speak to them.”

More squabbling. Micah could hear a pitch change and then a new voice on the other end of the line. He took a left, circling the same building once again.

“Yes, I’m looking for help in finding Ms. Rosalyn Jones. She had a meeting downtown this morning with a Robert Stope of the FBI at 1 Civic Center.”

The squabbling stopped and there was silence.

“Hello?” Bonnie said.

The squabbling started again but soon Bonnie hung up the phone.

“Well, what did they say?” Micah asked, parking on the side of the street.

“They said, ‘There is nothing we can do. However, know that she is safe’ and then he hung up on me. It was like that guys’ name spooked them.”

“What is happening here?” Micah pounded the steering wheel. After a few moments, he pulled back out onto the deserted street and they drove home in silence.

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The ROI on kids.

These guys are celebrating today. And so am I.

 

They’ve been married 36 years. And they’ve been HAPPILY married  for 36 years.

Here are a few things I’ve learned from them:

1. Never fight in front of the kids (or the cats in my scenario-but I’m convinced my cats speak Spanish, so Bicep’s and my “discussions” seem to be lost in translation).

2. Always kiss, hold hands, tell each other you love them until it grosses out everyone else around you-and then some.

3. Put God first, spouse second, kids third and everything else after that. Unless you have cats. Then, it’s a tie for third.

4. If your kids see you reading the Bible every morning, chances are-they’re going to read the Bible every morning. And, if you actually live out what you’re reading, chances are-they’ll do the same.

5. Saying “shut up” is never acceptable.

6. Fining people for filthy behavior (see #5) works only on tightwods (like me).

7. Telling your kids fun stories, roasting marshmallows, camping, catching lightening bugs and taking long walks makes memories. Television does not. (Obviously, unless it’s MacGyver, you are eating popcorn and drinking five-alive).

8. Make sure your pockets/purse contain kleenex, rubberbands, cough drops, paper clips, an eraser, pencils and notecards. These all come in handy when a sermon/lecture/car ride gets too boring.

9. Take an hour out of each week to invest in a one-on-one date with each kid. The ROI is phenomenal.

10. If your kids see you exercising, they’ll want to exercise. And they’ll also want to wear offensively tiny, gray Army-issued shorts, too. Sorry, Dad. It’s just basic math.

Happy Anniversary to the BEST parents this girl could ever hope for. I love you more than coffee, cats, and french fries. 

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