A Revelation

I’ve never been one to want to smell a baby’s head, cuddle it while it’s crying or envision myself as a mom. I don’t get gooey over anything baby related other than tiny shoes. Seriously-tiny shoes are cute.

I know that the mothering side to me is there-my heart is not completely black. And I’ll admit to being a little jealous of women that had these motherly attributes that were seemingly and utterly “all that is female”. But for some reason, whether I was scared of admitting it or worried it may never happen, I wouldn’t allow myself to feel this way about a child. I love children, and I love them more when you’re taking care of their poopy diaper.

I was completely ok with life being only Biceps and I (and maybe a cat or two). Or so I thought. And then I hit 35 and the thought of having a little stubborn mini-Biceps running around shooting at squirrels with a stick, throwing rocks into ponds and generally being a boy overwhelmed me. Or maybe even a little mini-Rebekah with sassy pigtails organizing her stuffed animals.

But nothing happened. For awhile. Like a long while. Women all around me seemed to get pregnant with ease. I was happy for them, but there was that twinge. It’s like that feeling after a break-up when all you see are happy couples and you’re sitting alone in the corner with your single served ice cream glaring at them like a freak.

I’ve been that freak on more than one occasion. And here I was again. Well-meaning women would ask why we didn’t have children or why I didn’t like kids. My heart was ripped open one day, and I wrote this–A Letter from a Childless Wife.

It was cathartic but also extremely revealing to write something so raw for the world to read, to pass on to others or to judge me by. But, I did it with the hope that even if we couldn’t conceive, others might know the pain I, or any other childless wife, might feel each time their “motherly duties” were questioned.

And then, this happened.

I am blessed beyond words to share this revelation with all of you. I am honored that God chose this time for us to conceive. And, I covet your prayers as we move forward to our due date of April 22nd.

Biceps and I are finally going to be parents. Amen and amen.

♥♥(If you are in the midst of or have been through this same story, I would love to lift you up as you did for me when I wrote my letter. Privately email me or comment below.) ♥♥

Cozy Sweater Pillows

As you know, I like to re-invent things around my home, offering a fresh look to a room with little to no cost. Sometimes I tackle huge projects-like building a table, destroying a mirror, or making my own spinning composter.

However, some days I like to make a nice hot cup of Cinnamon Apple tea and stay indoors. This is one of those days.

I love pillows on my sofas, but hate paying $20 for something that cats will eventually destroy-or I’ll spill coffee on. What’s a girl to do?

Combine thrift store pillows with my ill-fitting and ugly sweaters. That’s what!

Here’s what you’ll need to make your own Cutesy Sweater Pillows:

Old Pillows or stuffing
Old Sweaters
Backing material-I used an old canvas laundry bag
Tape Measure
Scissors
Straight Pins
Thread and Bobbin to Match
Button covers (if desired)
Invisible Thread (not pictured here, due to its invisibility)
Sewing Machine

Start by measuring the width & height of the pillow. If you are using stuffing, determine how big you want the pillow.

Measure on the sweater the width & height of the pillow and add 3 inches for seam allowance.

For example, my pillow was 14″ x 14″. I cut out two 17″ squares of sweater material.

Fold the backing material in half, measure and cut out the same sized square as the sweater.

Sandwich the sweater material (right sides facing in) with the backing material. Pin all four layers of material together.

With a 1 1/2 seam, sew the four pieces of material together on 3 sides only-leaving one side open for the pillow (or stuffing).

Cut off the excess seam, snip the four corners and turn the material right side out.

Stuff the pillow inside of its new home-or add stuffing.

Using invisible thread and a stout needle, sew the opening closed.

If desired, make a button for the center of the pillow, following the instructions on the button maker box. Sew the button(s) on with more invisible thread, going all the way through the pillow and pulling the thread tight. This will make the button dimple into the pillow.

For ruffles on the pillow, cut 3-4″ wide strips from the sweater, making them 2″ longer than the squares of sweater material and backing.

Follow all of the above instructions, except instead of sewing all 4 pieces of material together at once:
Sew one side of the backing to the wrong side of the sweater material-leaving two separate pieces total.

Sew the edges of one side of the potential ruffle using a zig zag stitch.

Fold over 1/4″ of the unsewn side of the ruffle, pinning and evenly spacing each ruffle on the right side of the sweater material.
Sew the tops of the ruffles in place.

With right sides of the sweater facing in (backing material on the outside), sew the two separate pieces together on all 3 sides with the same 1 1/2 seam, leaving an opening for the pillow or stuffing.

Cut the excess seam off, snip the corners and turn the material right side out.

Slide the pillow inside of the material or use the stuffing to fill the pillow out. Use invisible thread once again to sew up the opening.

Throw them on your fancy pink couch, brew some more tea and take a nice nap.

We have a WINNER! Blue Skies Shop Free Dress!

Congratulations to the winner of the Blue Skies Shop Giveaway!

I will be contacting you via email and hooking you up directly with Blue Skies Shop!  You can pick out your brand new, super cute, FREE dress!

#23 entry–Hannah Jurgelis!

And for those of you that have no idea what I’m talking about-here’s a tiny recap of the cuteness that is Blue Skies Shop! 

This dress is priced at just $28. Hello! I’ll take two please.

I have fallen in love with these cuffs and they are only $22 each!

And, I will take this skirt for $24 that is both fun and practical.

I mean, seriously-this is cute. And with a little jacket and some brown boots, you are totally ready for the fall. Check out Blue Skies Shop to see everything they have to offer at very affordable prices.

Thank you everybody that entered. I’m sure this isn’t the last time you’ve heard from Blue Skies Shop!

(PS-I received no compensation for this. I just love their stuff. I bet you will, too! )

Hens with Chicks and Tornados

Biceps and I went to the state fair this week. Amongst the interesting sightings of mullets, rat tails, butt cracks and cops eating food…I witnessed something this non-country, country girl has never before seen.

On display were 48 eggs all in some state of incubation. Surrounding the cracked egg shells were fluffy yellow chicks–climbing, snuggling and bumbling around the cage. A few eggs were just hatching, pushing their way toward the outer world. Slimy, with matted feathers, these newborns painstakingly chipped through their shells and were slowly climbing out in search of freedom.

Watching this beautiful scenario unfold, I was reminded of God’s goodness, of His protection over me and of his unending faithfulness.

“He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.” Psalm 91:4

At times, when I feel as though the weight of my small world is on my shoulders and there is no hope, I am reminded to turn to the Truth. What does God say about my tiny, little life?

“Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.'” Psalm 91:1 & 2

I want to rest in the shadow of the Almighty-the creator of heaven and earth. This doesn’t mean I’m exempt from suffering, from pain or from experiencing the ramifications of the evil in this world.

Blame it on my Kansas upbringing, but tornados always come to mind when I think of the resting in God during the midst of trouble. Picture being in the middle of a tornado, swirling around and around. However, you are wrapped in industrial strength bubble wrap with a gigantic bouncy mat to land on.

That’s how I picture God protecting me in times of trouble-He’s my industrial strength bubble wrap, my hen with outstretched wings, my refuge and my shelter. And in Him I find rest.

Do you feel like you are in the midst of trouble, but don’t know how to rest in God’s shadow? Will you email me (or comment here if you feel so bold) and tell me how I can pray for you?

“For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.” Psalm 91:11 & 12