Vintage Advertisements-Part Deux

Creative marketing types are always pushing the envelope when it come to advertising.
However, these advertisements show that the envelope has been pushed too far.
In fact, the envelope looks a little weird and mangled.
It looks creepy.

Photo source unknown
I have a hard time believing that any woman would be or should be this excited about saran wrap and her ability to wrap an inordinate amount of sandwiches. I think a bit of vicodin has been involved here.
And why is there a creepy Jay Leno in the background?

Photo source unknown
The pencil has completely enamored this poor little mountain girl.

Photo source unknown
‘Oh, Dahling…I think I forgot to eat for the last five years. Has anyone seen my waist?’

Photo source unknown
Life is so much fun when you have three men in very strange swimsuits chasing you.
I hope these advertisements have creeped you out.

Lady Bike and Me

I took advantage of the cooler weather this morning.
And when I say ‘cooler’, I mean less than the typical two thousand degrees it’s been outside, as of late.
My Lady Bike and I partook of a speedy adventure out of doors.

Lady Bike definitely has a personality all her own. She participates in the biking action, for the most part.

However, Lady Bike sometimes forgets that she is the mechanical aspect of the whole deal, causing a lot of grinding and whirring noises to announce my upcoming arrival to anyone else on the path.

But, I love her and her quirky ways. Plus, she was a bargain when I found her and I won’t complain.

I like to take Lady Bike to romantic places, although we are usually accompanied by Bicep’s ‘Man Bike’. Today, we were flying solo.
This is the ‘Kissing Bridge’, which had been dubbed years ago when I was in college for various unknown reasons….

This happens to be one of Lady Bike’s favorite views of downtown Tulsa. And mine, too.

This forgotten park on the west side of the river always cracks me up.
Nothing about this park looks fun to me.
But, maybe I should ask the opinion of a child that has burnt their behind from the blazing hot metal stage coach, or the one with the splinter in his hands from the ‘town’.

Lady Bike and I swung into the skate park and practiced our skills. This skill in particular, is called ‘resting’.

This skill here is called, ‘What was I thinking?’
I do love that my train case stayed attached.

We sailed past the ‘Space Needle’ towards one of my favorite spots on the trail-the magical arching tree.

Take a gander at this tree. It arches perfectly over the trail, not a limb in sight, until it is safely on the other side.
Lady Bike ushers me under the archway and we enter into our magical dreamworld where french fries are good for you and where cats are never squished by cars.

About the time I pass ‘Little San Francisco’, I begin to ring my bell.
The path is pretty deserted at this point and I love the way it resounds against the cement overpasses close by. I keep ringing it for as long as Lady Bike will let me.

The bell’s a little rusty and sticks from time to time, but she gets the job done. Runners cower in fear when they hear the ‘Cuh-RRRRRING!, Cuh-RRRRRING!’ coming their way.
The bell ringing might be my favorite part of biking. But don’t tell Lady Bike-she is already extremely temperamental.

Vintage Embroidered Pillow Case Shirt

This pretty little pillowcase has been lingering in my linen closet for years; very much neglected.
I liked it so much that I didn’t want to risk
ruining it…by using it.
Once I realized how crazy that logic was, I decided to put it to good use.
I mean, what’s next? Covering my couch in plastic?

I wear jeans with this cutesy little shirt because it hits me about mid-thigh.
It’s almost long enough to be a dress, but being an ORU graduate…I have been trained that ‘modest is hottest’.

HAH HAH HAHAHAHAHAHH!
Phew…had to get that out of my system….

Here’s what you’ll need for your own pillowcase shirt:
2 feet of 2”+ stiff lace-I added a decorative 1/4” lace on top of the 2” lace
Iron on hem tape-only if you add decorative lace as I did
Thread to match
Scissors
Tape measure
Pillowcase

First step: make sure your cat approves of the pillowcase. You can test this by allowing him to make a nest on the material.

Cut the seam from the end of the pillowcase.

Fold under and iron 1/4” on the cut end of the pillowcase.

Fold the 1/4” over 1” more and iron. This will be the top hem of your shirt. Sew that sucker in place, stitching as close to the bottom and to the top of the 1” of material-creating two seams.

I slipped the pillow case over my head and found that I had 9” of excess material around my chest. Starting from the front and center of my shirt, I divided the 9” of excess material into 7 equal pleats-one center pleat and three pleats on either side of center.
I pinned all of the pleats into place and ironed them flat.

I sewed on top of my old seams, making the pleats permanent.

Using an iron-on hem tape, I added a 1/4” decorative lace on top of my 2” lace, just for kicks and giggles.
Make sure your ironing board cover is absolutely disgusting like mine is.

These pretty little things will be the straps to my shirt.

Find center of your shirt, measuring out 4” on either side.
Find center of your straps and pin them at the 4” mark.
Do the same for the back of the shirt.

Following your old two seam lines, stitch your straps into place on the front and back of your shirt.

Sometimes, when I am really sassy, I’ll throw a belt around my shirt.
See what I mean about it almost being long enough to be a dress?
It’s just a little more thigh than I am comfortable with in public.
And sorry you had to see so much thigh.

Here’s the back of my cute shirt.
I have worn it mostly without a belt because I like the free and flowy feeling.
Also without a belt, I am able to gorge myself on chips and salsa. Or be pregnant with no one the wiser about my ‘condition’. Or smuggle in snacks to a dollar movie. Not that I I would do any of that.
But, it’s nice to know I have options.
Hope you like it!

The Best BBQ Whole Wheat Pizza

Every once in a blue moon, I like to share recipes with you.
But only if the finished products are mouth watering and approved heartily by Biceps.
Trust me, he keeps asking me to make another one.
And another one….

And another one and another one…

Here’s what you’ll need for the whole wheat crust:
1 1/4 C White Flour
1 Package of Active Yeast
1/2 Tsp Salt
1 TBS Dried Basil
1 C Water
2 TBS Extra Virgin Olive Oil
1 3/4 C Whole Wheat Flour
1 Hungry Tummy

Dump your white flour into a large mixing bowl. Add the 1/2 Tsp Salt.
(If you want to add garlic salt to your crust, cut the 1/2 Tsp Salt down to 1/4 Tsp.)

Add your 1 TBS of basil.

Make sure you tear open your package of yeast with your teeth so that when you photograph it, it looks like a wild animal got ahold of it.
Add your package of yeast.

Mix your dry ingredients together with a wooden spoon.
Place your 1 C water into the microwave for a minute to warm it up.

Add the 2 TBS of extra virgin olive oil to your water and whisk it for a second or two.
Add your water/oil mixture to your dry ingredients.

Stir until all the dry ingredients are mixed in and the dough is very sticky.

Stir in as much of your whole flour as you can with a wooden spoon, until the dough becomes too stiff.

Knead your dough by hand, adding the remaining whole wheat flour.

Cover the dough with your bowl and let sit for 10 minutes. Preheat your oven to 425 degrees at this time.

The Tasty Components:
1 C BBQ Sauce
1/2 Red Onion, sliced into fancy rings
2 C Mozzarella Cheese
1 small can of mushrooms, drained
6 Slices turkey bacon (or I suppose you can use ‘real’ bacon, too.)

If you have a cast iron skillet, I recommend using it for this application.
If you don’t, that’s sad. You should.

Spray your skillet lightly with a no stick spray and cook your little bacon on a low heat, turning once. Don’t cook it too long-you want the bacon to be a bit chewy.
Drain the bacon on a paper towel and let cool. Cut your bacon into bite size pieces once you can handle it without burning your little fingers.

Throw your onion slices right into that bacon goodness and cook on a low heat, caramelizing them.

Back to the dough! Press your dough out as far as you can by hand.

Roll out the rest of your dough until it’s big enough to cover your pizza pan. Spray your pizza pan with no stick spray and transfer your dough onto it.

Cook your pizza dough at 425 for 10 minutes.
Fasten your seat belts. Two beautiful worlds are about to collide.

Once your dough is done with it’s ‘pre-cook’, spoon a thin layer of your BBQ sauce onto the dough. Save any extra for a dipping sauce later on.

Add your bacon pieces, mushrooms and caramelized onions.

Smother it with cheese. I mean it, really smother it. Don’t be stingy.

Cook the entire pizza for 10-12 minutes at 425.
If you stick a finger right into the center of the pizza and that dang thing is hot all of the way through, it’s done.

This is so good. It’s 9 in the morning and I am getting hungry just thinking about this pizza…..
I might just have to change our dinner plans.