The ROI on kids.

These guys are celebrating today. And so am I.

They’ve been married 36 years. And they’ve been HAPPILY married  for 36 years.

Here are a few things I’ve learned from them:

1. Never fight in front of the kids (or the cats in my scenario-but I’m convinced my cats speak Spanish, so Bicep’s and my “discussions” seem to be lost in translation).

2. Always kiss, hold hands, tell each other you love them until it grosses out everyone else around you-and then some.

3. Put God first, spouse second, kids third and everything else after that. Unless you have cats. Then, it’s a tie for third.

4. If your kids see you reading the Bible every morning, chances are-they’re going to read the Bible every morning. And, if you actually live out what you’re reading, chances are-they’ll do the same.

5. Saying “shut up” is never acceptable.

6. Fining people for filthy behavior (see #5) works only on tightwods (like me).

7. Telling your kids fun stories, roasting marshmallows, camping, catching lightening bugs and taking long walks makes memories. Television does not. (Obviously, unless it’s MacGyver, you are eating popcorn and drinking five-alive).

8. Make sure your pockets/purse contain kleenex, rubberbands, cough drops, paper clips, an eraser, pencils and notecards. These all come in handy when a sermon/lecture/car ride gets too boring.

9. Take an hour out of each week to invest in a one-on-one date with each kid. The ROI is phenomenal.

10. If your kids see you exercising, they’ll want to exercise. And they’ll also want to wear offensively tiny, gray Army-issued shorts, too. Sorry, Dad. It’s just basic math.

Happy Anniversary to the BEST parents this girl could ever hope for. I love you more than coffee, cats, and french fries.