12 Years of Marriage, 12 Things I’ve learned

Dearest Readers:
Biceps and I have been married for 12 beautiful years-as of yesterday. The number “12” isn’t a fancy one-it’s not rounded out like 10 or 15. It’s that awkward number along the way to lucky 13 and just past the boring “boy-you’ve-still-got-a-lot-to-learn” single digits.

In and of itself, the number 12 is just there, being 12.

However, I’ve learned a lot about how to do this marriage thing in 12 years: how to tour with stinky guys, how to remodel and build more than I ever dreamed possible for me-and, of course, why cats are awesome.

I thought I’d share my vast knowledge of life with all of you. The first one is kind of a no brainer.

1. Even in Europe, while in the majestic Swiss Alps, cats are cute and are a necessity for me.

2. When your husband insists on you touring with his band, have a little class and don’t try to take over everything. All the time. Every spare minute. The other band members really don’t appreciate you mothering them.

3. Remodeling will either: (A) tear your marriage apart because you’re both insistent on doing it “your way” or (B) it will bring you and your black boogers, sawdust filled lungs, scraped knuckles, aching backs-closer together. Shoot for the latter.

4. No matter if you spend your time together in far off romantic places, farting will always kill the mood.

5. And even if you spend your special time together camping in your old home town as you roast hot dogs over a “romantic fire” and you must shower in a spider-infested, concrete block structure that smells like an ape house, farting will kill the mood.

So will poison ivy. But that’s another lesson for another day.

6. Telling your husband every day how handsome he is never gets old.

7. Sometimes, life will take you to fancy places. Never let it change why you fell in love with your spouse and who you are as a couple. I will always remember the times we took the night off from remodeling and drove our vintage Honda motorcyle to “splurge” on a Quik Trip soda. That was an awesome date night. I loved every minute of wrapping my arms around my husband on the back of that motorcycle, sitting on the curb as we watched the cars racing in and out of the gas station and laughing and chatting until the sun went down.

8. Sometimes life will present the bizarre. It’s good to have someone to share that with.

9. Yelling never solves anything. Besides-look at this face. How could you yell at that? The quickest and the healthiest way to a resolution is to pray together. It may sound trite, but trust me. You can’t demand to “win” if you are focusing on the one who gave His life for you. What you want seems pretty silly after remembering that.

10. Farting will always kill the mood.

11. Everyone looks sexier on stage-don’t compare your spouse to them and wish they were that sexy. Unless of course it is your spouse and your wish has already been granted. Hello! Then, I guess, comparing is kind of a moot point.

12. Holding out for that one man God has picked for you and staying faithful to aforementioned man, is the most exciting, most satisfying thing you can do in the entire world.

Happy Anniversary, Biceps. I love you more than cats and coffee.