Tornadoes ruin Date Nights

Last night, Biceps and I finished our puppet box project for a church here in town earlier than expected. (Unfamiliar with this side of my life? This is what I’m referring to):

Once aforementioned box was completed, we didn’t know what to do with ourselves. We actually had a few hours of free time.

So, we came up with a brilliant plan-date night!

However, this started rolling in-along with thunder, rain and lightening. However, we forged ahead with our plans. I got the hairdryer out, the make-up bag and the hairspray. I wanted to look good for my man. I even remembered deodorant.

Then, we started noticing all of the outdoor events we were to partake of were being cancelled. People were talking of getting into their storm shelters. Sissies, I thought. I’ve seen worse.

The weatherman put a big red blob across my state and plastered it with, “Tornado Warning.” I sighed and washed the make-up off my face.

Tornadoes are stupid. Instead of being able to cuddle up and relax like you would with a snowstorm, you spend two hours watching the news and prepping for the inevitable. The storm chasers describe the scene with glee, the same video of touch-downs keeps rolling and you finally give up and go to bed.

Tornadoes ruin date nights. The weather owes me one.

Au Naturale and Old School

Come on a journey with me. (*Caution: Unusually heavily photographed Rebekah post.)

Let’s walk down the road together-celebrating the times before we were constantly connected, a time where we look at each other while at the dinner table instead of at our phones.

Pack a backpack, grab a film camera, a paper map and wear your favorite comfy pants-we’re about to get au naturale and go on an old school adventure together.

No makeup is required-even during extreme close-ups (thank you, Biceps) and you have permission to wear the same clothes for a month.

You can’t take your computer with you because laptops aren’t affordable yet and your camera never shows you what it is you’re taking a picture of. You just have to hope for the best and be surprised when you develop the prints and hold them in your hands.

You have to rely on either your paper maps or asking the natives for directions-who might invite you in for a cup of coffee, fresh bread and a conversation in broken English.

You might regret your hairdo and pant choice, but you can just always throw the prints away. And nothing has been posted on the internet or on instagram.

You can pretend it never happened.

And locked away in your brain are lovely conversations, incredibly unique meals, and experiences completely void of anything dinging, chiming or buzzing at you. Ah…what a great au naturale and old school adventure we just had together.

Now, slowly come back to your connected reality of computers, iPhones and digital cameras. We’ll do another old school adventure soon-but until then-we’ve got our memories.

Christmas is over-what’s next on the list?

Every year, around August, I start thinking about and planning for Christmas. Biceps and I begin discussing that year’s Christmas photo  and I begin gathering costuming and necessary accoutrements.

And, I have a theory about Christmas:

Lists rule, disorganization drools.

List for 2012 Christmas Card Photo:

1. Angel Wings
2. Large Tighty-Whities
3. My “dress”-a white sheet
4. Halo
5. Red Jeans
6. Cape
7. Devil Horns
8. Triton

Totally normal Christmas Photo shoot list for most families, I assume.

And sometime after Thanksgiving, I start scheming for Bicep’s birthday-(also known as my “pre-Christmas”), because he’s a Christmas Eve baby.

List for Bicep’s Birthday:

1. Egg pancakes for Birthday breakfast (Greiman tradition)
2. Some sort of weaponry present
3. Some sort of clothing item present that he will probably return
4. Chocolate cake with chocolate frosting with chocolate ice cream (plus more chocolate options, just in case)
5. Back-up Chocolate

Now, if you know anything about Biceps and I-you know that we are frugal. Christmas is budgeted throughout the year, with a little set aside each month. That way, when present making (or for this year-present buying) comes around, we don’t go into a sticker-shock-induced-coma.

Usual List for homemade presents:

1. 95 Ripe Bananas (boy, do the cashier’s give us a weird look)
2. 8 Bags Pretzel Rods
3. 4 Packages Almond Bark
4. 5 Bags Flour
5. 5 Bags Sugar
6. 3 Jars Molasses
7. 2 Bags Peppermint Candy
8. Etc….

And then there’s the Thank You Note List for Gifts Received (past, present and future):

1. Golden Toilet Lighter from Daniel
2. Self-Adhesive Mustache Pack from Christy
3. Portrait of a Sheriff from Beau
4. Inappropriately Shaped Pine Cone Ornament from Carisa
5. Pooping Penguin from Justin
6. 1966 Ford Mustang from Biceps

But now, the carefully planned out lists have been fulfilled and thrown away. The presents have been unwrapped, the meals have been eaten and the house is silent.

And, it’s time to put all the Christmas cheer back in its appropriate box, wrap it up in tissue paper and store it-once more-up in the attic, until next Christmas.

And I am left with a “Christmas-less” house-until next August when the planning begins again. I don’t have a list anymore. It’s a little disconcerting.

What’s next on your list?

Christmas Card Photo Reveal 2012

I know the internet world has been holding its breath for the 2012 Greiman Christmas Card Photo revelation. If you are unfamiliar with our tradition, Biceps and I create a photographic masterpiece that we share with our friends, families, accountants, pastors and the like.

No one is safe from this awesomeness.

And, if you haven’t seen the last 11 years of our Christmas Card Photo glory, you should probably catch up. It will make your Monday morning.

AND WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, HERE IS THE 2012 GREIMAN CHRISTMAS CARD PHOTO IN ALL OF ITS SPLENDOR:

Nothing says “Merry Christmas” like giving the devil a good, old-fashioned wedgie.

Merry Christmas!