Yes, I’d love to hear your horrible birth story…and other things.
This bump in my front has received unsolicited advice, thoughts, stories, warnings and the-world-is-ending-for-you notifications. I’ve had the Quick Trip lady tell me that I’m too small to be 34 weeks along and that possibly I’m wrong on my due date-or something is wrong with the baby.
I’ve received advice from a well-meaning Sprouts employee that I should eat unpasteurized cheese because it will help my child build up immunities (that’s a big: “thank you but no”, by the way).
I’ve been told that I’m crazy for not wanting the drugs given to most mothers during birth and that of course, I’ll change my mind.
And that I’m weird for wanting to cloth diaper and that this desire won’t last long. That I’ll realize I’m missing out on life for me and baby without Baby Einstein’s “must-have walker”. And, that if I make my own baby food, my baby probably won’t be receiving enough nutrition.
All of these things are tolerable. However, the one thing I cannot get out of my mind are the horrible birth stories I’ve been told-mostly from complete strangers. Their water broke at the state fair while at the top of a ferris wheel, they bled out and almost died, oh-also the baby almost died, the doctor didn’t know what he was doing, the cord was wrapped around the neck, and they labored for 3 days straight.
My question is why do tell a perfectly happy pregnant woman all of the terrible things that could go wrong? Is to help her increase her faith (I would have to say no) or to show off the invisible badge earned through an extremely painful and traumatic ordeal?
It’s like telling a virgin the night before she weds that she’ll just have to “get through it”. Which is helpful. Which happened.
I may appear tough to you (or not). However, I’m a fragile little egg right now. It’s not that I don’t value what other mother’s have been through. But, let me get through it first. Then, we can swap stories all day long. I’d love to hear about the bloody placenta that fell from the doctor’s hands, the hemorrhoids and the elusive sleep that never came for the new mother.
Seriously. I’ll brew the coffee.
My births were wonderful, especially when I saw the results! You and your wonderful siblings!!! All will be well.. Love
I believe that since God made us all different, all of our experiences will be unique. I know my births were all different, as are my three sons! Your experience will be yours, and may God Bless you and your family with and through your little miracle. All the best.
The best advice I ever received was to read the book Childbirth Without Fear by Dr Grantly Dick-Read.
With my first son, labor was induced, and I did have a pain medication dispensed through an IV. I pushed that button a LOT. He was 23 inches long, 9 pounds, 2 ounces. It took them longer to stitch up the episiotomy than it took for me to push him out. Other than the soreness from the stitches, it felt more like my body had gone through a 19-hour long extreme workout rather than actual pain. Because of the stitches unravelling, I had to be on bedrest for quite some time after birth. Other than that, everything was pretty normal. Wait, I hated it when the nurses would change shifts and the new nurse would tell me that the way the previous nurse had showed me how to breastfeed was wrong. One nurse went so far as to tell me that I was going to kill my baby because my breasts are very voluptuous.
With my second son, he was born after 4 hours of labor, I had narry a scratch, and was able to give birth at home. I was up on my feet and washing dishes that night.
I nursed exclusively for 5 months with both kids, nursed in public with a blanket covering not for modesty, but so that the babies wouldn’t get distracted while nursing and let a stream of milk spray all over everything. It happened at home during supper once. Ruined a perfectly good pot roast and several people’s appetites. It turns out my oldest has ADHD. Distractions at mealtime are still an issue. Go figure.
I cloth diapered, and felt it MUCH more convenient that using disposables. Whoever thinks it’s not convenient has never run out of diapers in the middle of a snowstorm and left literally up s*** river without a paddle. I had an airtight Rubbermaid container that I lined with a garbage bag, filled up all day, threw in the washer at night, put in the dryer, and then in the morning, I had a day’s worth of clean fresh cozy diapers ready to go. The only time they were in disposable diapers was at daycare.
Go with the flow and do what feels right to you and your family. Just because someone gives you advice doesn’t mean that you have to take it. Just smile and nod, and try to not roll your eyes until they’ve gone.
Every experience is unique and you are truly blessed! I don’t understand why anyone would want to share negative experiences with a mom-to-be. Positive thoughts and well wishes mean so much more. This is a very happy time for you. God Bless.
Rebekah,
My advice would be to fix the coffee and I’ll join you!!!