How to be a dork and prepare for Television

As you may know, yesterday I was on Fox23’s morning show, Great Day Green Country showing off my fancy Homemade Household Cleaners. Ok, so they’re not really “fancy”, but I like to jazz things up a bit.

After all, Fox23 did give me a ridiculous title of “DIY Diva”.

 

If I may, I’d like to keep myself grounded (now that I am a big t.v. celebrity) and show you what I dork I am.

 

It may be no big deal to people accustomed to television debuts–however, I thought about the day of my appearance far in advance, then I over-thought it, then I over-thought my over-thoughts-again. I even looked for a new outfit, but reverted back to one of my favorite classics-this brown little ditty.

Now, for the behind the scenes nitty gritty.

I did buy new shoes that were never seen on air. But, they made me feel sassy and classy and that helps a girl when her pits are sweating because she’s so nervous.

The day before, I decided to have a bit of a dress rehearsal. First, I dug these curlers out of retirement and got busy making my hair “vintagey”.

I prayed to God that no one would knock on the door while I looked like this.

I fished my small collection of lipsticks out of retirement. Biceps isn’t into lipstick-for me or for himself, which works out fine since I usually end up with it all over my teeth anyways.

However, to be vintage-one must have red lips…

…and short red fingernails.

And also a cat named Maxwell that helps run lines.

During set up, I realized that not wearing anti-perspirant has its downfalls. Here’s the inside of my head during the live taping:

“Don’t lift your arms too high. They’ll see your pit sweat.”
“Look at the camera with the red light on. No, not that one. That one.”
“Look at the host, but not for too long.”
“You’re looking at him too long.”
“Don’t worry he called you Rebekah Gree-man. Forget it.”
“Should I correct him?”
“No.”
“Why am I here?”
“Did he just call me a ‘Shaman’?”
“What’s a Shaman?”
“I should look that up when I get home.”
“I wonder if Biceps will take me out to lunch when this is over.”
“Don’t lift you arms.”
“You lifted your arms.”
“It’s over already. What the heck did I just say?”
“I hope no one saw my weird mouth things that I do.”
“Put your arms down.”

Now you know that I’m a serious, Grade-A dork. With sweaty pits.