The Eleven Year Non-Itch

Biceps and I will celebrate 11 years today as a married couple. This amount of time is just a hair longer than we’ve actually known each other.

Let me tell you, this boy moves fast when he finally comes to a decision. (If you want to know more about our backstory, read “How I met Biceps“. It’s good bathroom reading.)

Eleven years ago today, we said our “I do’s”. And here are eleven things that I’ve learned about my marriage since that wonderful moment we became one:

1. Mumbling under your breath gets you absolutely nowhere except into more anger.

2. Men, no matter who they are, want to hear that they are
A) Hot-not handsome, cute or sexy (although these are good things to say, too) but HOT,
B) A good provider and
C) Able to beat up Daniel Craig.

3. If you want anything to change in your marriage, prayer is the first thing you do, complaining about it is the last.

4. Don’t present a problem in your relationship without a viable solution.

5. Never call your husband’s hands “small” or “cute”. Trust me on this one.

6. If you want your husband to be your best friend, do the things he enjoys doing (within reason and within the boundaries of the law)-including watching that horrible army movie when you would rather watch Alvin and the Chipmunks.

7. A good meal, a clean, peaceful home and a presentable self may seem archaic, but they are magic to a marriage’s soul.

8. If you are your husband’s biggest fan, he will be yours.

9. Never insult your husband in public-only offer praise of the man you chose to marry.

10. If he doesn’t like the shirt, the pants, the shoes, etc.-what’s the point in wearing them? Who am I dressing for anyways?

11. If he screws up, be his confidant, not his condemner.

I love you so much, Biceps. Thank you for waiting for me, for choosing me, for honoring me and for loving me every single day of our married life. I know you aren’t perfect, but you are perfect for me.